It’s frustrating when a celebration meant for you feels like it’s really about someone else.

What would you do if your parents invited you to dinner to celebrate your engagement, but chose a place you’ve made it clear you dislike? Would you accept the invite anyway? Or would you politely suggest an alternative?

In today’s story, one woman finds herself in this exact situation and is unsure if declining is the wrong move. Here’s the full story.

AITA for declining my parents invite to a restaurant to celebrate my engagement with my fiancé?

My partner and I recently got engaged, and my parents have offered to take us out to dinner to celebrate at my mom’s favorite restaurant.

The catch is that I really dislike this place.

I have made this known previously and it has even been a running joke with them about how I am terrified of the restaurant (which is fine! I can take a joke!) but it is just not making me feel very good that in order to celebrate us they offered to take us somewhere they know we don’t like.

There are multiple reasons she doesn’t like the restaurant.

The restaurant is fine. It’s not even bad.

My problem with it is that it’s in my hometown, and it’s a spot where, without fail, my parents will see their friends. Their friends will come up to the table, say hi, and stay and talk a bit.

I don’t dislike these people and gladly socialize with them in other contexts, but I just hate having to sit through these interactions while I’m at dinner.

We often see people from my high school, which also isn’t my favorite. I am not a particularly socially anxious person, but I just really dislike this for some reason.

She tried not to be rude about it.

When I was invited, I tried to make a lighthearted joke about it being “my favorite.”

And my parents said they didn’t want to drive very far.

I gently offered to chauffeur everyone somewhere else since it was a special occasion, and offered a list of places I love/have been wanting to try for the occasion.

Now, her dad is upset, and she’s not sure what to do.

This morning, my dad told me off for being rude and that when I am invited to dinner, the polite thing is to just say yes, not to ask to go somewhere else.

This whole thing is bothering me a lot more than I thought, and it’s kind of hurting my feelings and making me feel unseen. It is putting me in a bad mood and making me want to stay home, since if I bring it up again, I will be the one making a big deal and being rude, etc, and I will never hear the end of it.

I feel the only way to keep this from being an issue is to go along with it and “celebrate” somewhere I don’t even want to be, just to please my parents.

AITA?

Wow! It’s easy to see both sides, but the parents are kind of rude for this one.

Let’s see how the fine folks over at Reddit feel about it.

For this person, it sounds like the parents want to socialize.

This reader thinks she should turn it around on them.

Here’s someone who completely understands.

This person would make it simple.

She’s not the one who’s wrong.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.