It can be hard for parents to see their children grow up, gain independence and experience major life moments without them.

If you were a parent, would you want to be there when your child got engaged, or would you be happy to celebrate their engagement with them afterwards?

In today’s story, one mom is very upset that she wasn’t there to see her daughter get engaged, and now her daughter, who wasn’t at all responsible for the proposal, is wondering if she messed up.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for not including my mom in my engagement?

For background, I (24F) planned a surprise birthday trip for my dad. I got most of my family together to surprise him and celebrate him, and it was an amazing trip.

On my dad’s actual birthday, my partner (25M) mentioned that my dad told him he’d enjoy taking sunrise photos on the beach.

So we woke up early and went to the beach just us three.

That wasn’t the only reason they went to the beach.

Well, my partner ended up proposing to me on the beach with my dad (who is a photographer) taking our engagement photos.

It was so special and magical, and I am still so giddy and happy.

Also, for reference, my now fiancé had asked my dad for my hand the night before and my dad was more than happy to also celebrate my engagement on his birthday.

She was excited to share the news with everyone.

Anyways, the three of us get back to the airbnb where I planned on telling everyone about the exciting news.

I went to tell my mom first before anyone else, and I found her bawling her eyes out in her bedroom.

My dad was comforting her and asked me to give them a minute.

I wasn’t sure what was happening, but we’ve had some family health issues going on lately and I assumed it had to do with that.

She was actually upset about the proposal.

After she recovered, I asked her what was wrong and she confessed she was upset she wasn’t there for the proposal.

Obviously, I had nothing to do with that because I was just as surprised. But she ended up not congratulating my partner, telling me she wasn’t sure if she was happy or sad, and dodging the topic the rest of the time.

I expressed to her how this hurt my feelings, and she used verbiage like “if you’re happy, I’m happy,” and, “i have your back.”

She’s finding it hard to celebrate her proposal now.

The engagement has started to feel like it’s overshadowed by her emotions, and I’m left feeling like I have to cater to her instead of being able to celebrate.

Even my dad is trying to defend her.

She kind of understands her mom’s perspective, but she also doesn’t really understand it.

I understand the feelings a parent must have seeing their first born get engaged, but it didn’t even cross my mind to have EITHER of my parents at a proposal.

I had expressed to my partner that I would enjoy a private proposal where I could celebrate with family after.

This was perfect for me, and it made sense because including a photography related thing for my dad’s birthday didn’t raise any suspicions at all.

AITA for not having her at the proposal?

Do you think her mom is overreacting, or should she have been involved in the proposal as well?

Let’s see what Reddit has to say.

There’s no way she could’ve done anything wrong. She wasn’t responsible for the proposal.

Perhaps the dad did try to invite the mom along.

Inviting the dad made sense…and made it more of a surprise.

This person thinks the mom needs to control her emotions.

But this person thinks the mother is allowed to have emotions.

It’s unfortunate that her mother is so upset, but that’s not her fault.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.