What’s fair in a marriage is different for different couples, but especially when there are kids involved, parenting, work, and housework need to be somewhat fairly split. Otherwise, one person might find themselves burnt out and resentful.

What would you do if your husband wasn’t working, cleaning or doing his fair share with the kids?

Let’s read how one Redditor navigates the imbalance with her husband.

AITA for returning my husband’s energy?

For years, my husband would come home from work and start complaining the moment we walked through the door.

“My wife isn’t dressed up,” “Dinner isn’t ready,” “Come serve me”.

I was a SAHM with 2 kids 2 and under. I tried to keep our common areas decent. I made dinner every night and washed dishes every night.

My husband was coming home around 7 p.m. from work, so the days of solo parenting were long. Just very strict gender roles.

The OP felt like her duties were unseen.

It was a box I felt I was pushed into when what I really wanted was a husband that came home, realized that I was working all day too, and jumped into the action.

I’ve communicated all this to him, but he’s always asking for me to do more when actually I feel as though I can’t manage so much and I need him to contribute more at home.

But then, the tables turned.

My husband has been unemployed for 3 weeks, and I’m starting to go into the clinic (for school) full time.

Dinner isn’t ready when I get home. It isn’t even ready before I go to bed because I have to wake up at 5 a.m., and I go to bed at 9 p.m.

He’s still not doing the kids laundry. I do that. I still have to clean up leftover dishes from the dinners I don’t eat.

Thankfully, they have some support.

He’s not cooking. His mom is living with us right now, so she is.

The kids just don’t cling to him like they do to me, so he really has stay-at-home parenting on easy mode.

But, the other night was the true test for the OP.

Last night, our 10-month-old had some sniffles and wasn’t going to sleep easily.

After I finished breastfeeding our son, I told my husband that I’m going to go to another room to sleep because I have to work.

He’s pulled the “I have to work” card countless times to tap out of the hard parts of parenting. I was the one who stayed up whenever the kids weren’t going to sleep, were sick, or got hungry in the middle of the night.

Then, the husband did something unforgettable.

All night, my son was crying.

I tried to just leave him alone and give him the space to learn.

After a while I tried to intervene, and my husband was so angry at me he just pushed me away and told me not to be around them.

Clearly, he was struggling with the sleepless night with a sick baby. But, all I can think is that it’s a quintessential parenting experience that he would have otherwise missed out on, and I helped him have at least a bit more of an authentic SAHP experience.

And this wife isn’t sure where she stands anymore.

In all honesty, I feel like he doesn’t understand my struggles and always asks for more or is unhappy with me, so maybe experiencing a taste of what I’ve gone through for the past 2.5 years would help him see things from my perspective.

This probably isn’t going to help us though.

This is a heartbreaking story. Can Reddit relate? Let’s see what the comments are saying below.

Commenters didn’t mince words.

And people shared very interesting perspectives on who is doing damage to whom.

Others advised her to leave.

And people noted this wasn’t the first time she was feeling this way.

This woman deserves a partner who actually wants to participate with his family.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.