If you had the money to help a family member pay for dental work, would you help them, or would you refuse?

Would it make a difference if you gave them money in the past and didn’t like how that turned out?

In this story, one woman is in this situation, and she’s not sure if she should give her mom the money or not.

Let’s see why she’s feeling so conflicted.

WIBTA if I refused to help my mom pay for a $6,000 dental procedure?

My mother called me a few days ago and asked if I could help pay for $6000-$7000 worth of dental work she has to get done.

I want to help, but I don’t trust her financially to pay me back.

Background: A few years ago, I gave my mom $8,000 over the course of a year to help her pay down her credit card debt(around 10,000).

She stopped trusting her mom.

After tax season, my dad got their tax refund and gave her a few hundred to put toward her cards.

She threw a fit about not getting more, but when I did the math, I realized she should have had only about $1,000 or so left in total credit card debt.

That didn’t sit right with me.

After a lot of fighting, asking questions, and her giving me and my family excuses, I logged into her accounts and saw that while she was making payments on the agreeded upon cards, she was also spending more than the payments across her other cards.

She wasted a lot of money.

Basically, she doubled her debt in a single year.

Which meants that she spent 16,000 on stuff that didn’t matter.

I know it was not non-essential purchases(or emergencies) because i spent days going over every single monthly statement of every single card to figure out where the money went.

Her mom didn’t take responsibility.

When I confronted her about it, she said she didn’t realize what she was doing.

I’m still unsure if I believe that or not.

I stopped giving her money after that.

Now she needs a $6,000 dental procedure and asked me if I could put it on a medical credit card.

This is different since it’s not a frivolous purchase.

Part of me wants to help, because I know it’s a health issue.

But another part of me feels like I’d just be setting myself up to get burned again.

I’m also still feeling used form the $8,000. If I do help, I want to set strict conditions.

WIBTA if I told her no or WIBTA if I set strict conditions for doing this for her?

Should she help her mom out since it’s a medical procedure, or should she refuse since her mom has wasted so much money in the past?

Let’s see what the comments on Reddit have to say.

Really, it sounded like the $8000 was a gift and not a loan.

I agree that she shouldn’t give the money to her mom, but she could possibly pay the actual bill.

Another person agrees that it would be best to pay the bill directly.

It does make a difference that it’s a medical bill and not a frivolous expense.

It would be petty not to help.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a customer who insists that their credit card works, and finds out that isn’t the case.