Family visits are supposed to feel like a two-way street, but sometimes one person ends up putting in all the effort.

For years, one woman traveled across states to keep connections with her family alive.

But when her family refused to come to her, it revealed just how one-sided all her efforts had been.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for refusing to fly out to visit my family this year?

I (30F) live in Oregon. My parents (60s) live in Arizona and my siblings (33F & 36F) live in Wisconsin.

Regardless of their distance, she’s always worked hard to bridge the gap.

In the past 5 years, I’ve flown out multiple times every year to see them: Christmas, summer visits, dog-sitting, and even helped one sister move.

But her family never put in as much effort.

In that time, my dad has visited me twice (both to help with moving), my mom once (and not directly to me), and neither sibling has ever come see me.

Regardless, life went on, with plenty of new challenges coming her way.

This year I lost a job, started a new one with no PTO yet, had to buy a car, and student loans restarted, so I told them I can’t afford a trip.

But her parents didn’t seem to understand where she was coming from.

They got upset and said I should make time “at least once a year.”

My boyfriend pointed out they could come here, which made me realize they’ve traveled plenty (my mom has visited my siblings 3x this year, dad twice, siblings traveled for friends/partners), just never to me.

So when she asks them to visit her for a change, her family was quick to make excuses.

When I suggested they visit, my mom said money is tight due to medical bills from a recent surgery (understandable), but they just bought tickets for my dad to see my siblings 2 weeks ago.

Both my siblings also got quiet and abruptly ended a call after I said I can’t come.

She understands where they’re coming from in a way, but she still thinks it’s unfair they never return the effort.

I get that I’m the “outlier” living in Oregon now, but I feel like I’ve carried most of the effort with little returned.

So, AITA for saying I can’t visit this year and being upset that no one ever comes to me?

It’s frustrating to feel like the only one putting in the effort.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter has dealt with similar pressures from their family.

If her parents are able to use money problems as an excuse, then she should be able to as well.

Why not just present the cold hard facts?

Why not just spring for a cheaper alternative?

Asking for her family to share in some of the effort shouldn’t be too much to ask.

If her family really values their bond, maybe it’s their turn to finally make a trip to her.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.