Fact: you can’t ever FORCE anyone to feel a certain way about family members…

And when it comes to teenagers, you can’t really force them to do anything.

Which brings us to today’s story!

Read on to get all the details and see what you think!

AITA for telling my dad I won’t hate my mom or grandparents for him even if he thinks mom betrayed him?

“My mom passed way when I (16m) was 3.

She had cancer and was diagnosed when she was pregnant with her and my dad’s second baby. She terminated to start treatment but everyone told me it was super aggressive and she just couldn’t fight it off.

I don’t get all the legal stuff so I’ll explain the best I can next. When mom was sick she set up money for me from the money she inherited from her grandparents. Mom thought that should be all mine.

There are strict rules about this.

She set it up in a way that left my grandparents overseeing it and my dad can’t touch it and neither can I. Only my grandparents can and she left instructions that it’s only to be used if I need something.

So if I need food buy food out of it, or clothes, or if I get sick and it’s expensive or something like that.

My dad never forgave mom for putting my grandparents in charge of it instead of him.

He felt like she betrayed him and that she was punishing him before she passed away for ever possibly marrying again and having more kids because he said she made a big deal out of saying it was for her child, only her child, and that if other people in my house needed money it wasn’t for them.

The first time he told me anything about this stuff I was 6 and he was really ****** off that mom had locked him out of supporting us both and any future family out of it.

My dad got married again when I was 8. My dad and stepmother have three kids together and my middle half sibling has asthma real bad. She goes to the hospital twice a year in winter when she catches stuff that makes her get really sick. She’s had a few asthma attacks too.

They’re going through some tough times.

My dad and stepmother had to borrow money to cover some of the costs for it. Then my dad lost his job and his new one was way less pay and longer hours too. His wife took a pay cut at her job like others did because they’re trying to save money. So money has been tight.

My grandparents decided to take me out to eat and buy stuff I need to help out. They don’t take it from the money mom left and they say that’s because I should have that for my future.

My dad wanted my grandparents to stop listening to mom’s wishes and give him money each month from it for all of us, not just me. He said they could also buy all us kids something. My grandparents told him they were only going to help their grandson and not his other children.

After they said no my dad started ranting about them. Ever since things got really tight six months ago he’s been talking **** about my mom and grandparents a lot.

He talks about how mom betrayed him and how my grandparents aren’t good people because they’d leave the rest of the family to struggle while I get what I want and need.

This guy won’t give it a rest…

He told me again how mom wanted to spite him for remarrying and how she was so against him moving on she’d let my half siblings go hungry by being so strict about what her money could be spent on.

Then he told me I should forget about my mom and grandparents because I have a better mom in my stepmother. I told him my stepmother isn’t my mom and never will be. And I told him he might feel betrayed by mom but he won’t make me dislike her or my grandparents either.

Then I asked him why he tells me all this and what does he think I’ll do. He said he expects me to want to defend and protect my family. I told him that’s what I just did. Dad told me I can’t even remember mom and my grandparents are less family than parents and siblings.

Then he said I should feel this anger because of what they all did to him and I said I won’t dislike them for him either. I said he feels how he feels but I’ll still love them.

Wow…

That made dad mad and he told me I might need a psychiatrist because there was something broken in me for not seeing why he’s this angry and for not feeling the same way too.

It feels weird for dad to think like that about me and I dislike that he’s so mad at me. But I don’t get why he’s being like this.

I can maybe get feeling hurt mom didn’t trust him but I don’t think she was wrong to want to take care of me and not my half siblings who were born after she died and have nothing to do with her.

I don’t think my grandparents are wrong either since I’m their only family.

I don’t know but my dad could be right about it so I’m asking and hoping I won’t be called a monster or anything but I want to know anyway.

AITA?”

Reddit users shared their thoughts.

This person weighed in.

Another individual shared their thoughts.

This reader spoke up.

Another person said he’s NTA.

And this person had a lot to say.

It sounds like this kid’s dad needs some serious help…

If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.