Imagine being in a long term relationship with someone and you’re heading towards marriage. What would you do if this person had kids from a previous relationship, and the kids despise you no matter what you do?

Would you keep trying to be accepted by them, or would you breakup with your partner to avoid the drama?

In this story, one man is in this exact situation. He’s engaged but thinking about calling it off because of his fiancée’s kids.

Let’s read all the details.

AITA for wanting to end my engagement because her kids don’t accept me and I want a family of my own?

I (34m) have been with my fiancée (33f) for 6 years now. She was a widow with two kids when we met. The kids were 5 and 6 when their dad died, they were 7 and 8 when I met my fiancée and we have lived together for the past three years and engaged for 7 months.

We’ve all had individual therapy, family therapy and me trying to go at their pace but the kids don’t like me.

They won’t like anyone their mom is with. That much is painfully clear.

But they are so against me that I would not want to get married and have kids with my fiancée and bring them into a divided family.

He worries marriage won’t fix the situation.

It has been argued by some of her friends and mine that things might be this way because we’re not married. That the kids would respect me and believe I’m staying if we get married.

And I accept there’s a chance of that. But what if we get married and they still hate me or maybe they hate me more?

The kids are willing to fight their own grandparents, aunts and uncles over me.

They won’t give him a chance.

They do not want to be my friend. They do not want to see me as an uncle or trusted adult, they do not want to see me as a parent and they will yell at their relatives for referring to me as one of their parents. Not even their dad. But as one of their parents.

And they are very firm in not wanting me to be their dad. They said nobody can take their dad’s place.

I even told them I would never try but would like whatever relationship they’re most comfortable with.

Nothing works.

This sounds horrible.

Spending time with them is like dragging them to the dentist.

They resist and act like it’s the worst thing ever and they won’t open up to me or have fun even 1:1 with just one of the kids. Not to mention they constantly disrespect me when I’m alone with them.

I get slightly less disrespect when others are around but if they decide to make me spending time with them hell the disrespect is dialed up by 100.

He’s hesitant to get married.

My fiancée said she wants to get married and have more kids. That she’s been ready for a while. She even proposed to me.

But I have told her I do not feel good about it when her kids are where they’re at with me.

She knows I want kids of my own and she told me we’ll have them. She seems willing to believe her kids will come around to the idea of me some day and that we just need to show them I’m not going anywhere.

I think it’s a big risk and one that is harder to break. As it is I could move out today and we’re not entangled anymore. Marriage and kids together changes it.

This is such a tough situation to be in.

My fiancée’s family desperately want me to stick it out and once I made my fiancée that I am seriously considering ending things they were begging me to commit and stick it out.

They said the kids need someone as solid as me and we could still have the marriage and kids I want too. That she wants more kids.

My fiancée said it’s not fair that we have to break up over this.

I told her she’s not the one who has to live with kids who hate her and have admitted (to their therapist and to cousins) they would be happy to see me dead if it meant removing me from the equation.

AITA for wanting to leave?

I feel bad for everyone in this situation. The kids probably won’t come around. OP would be stuck with kids who hate him if he gets married.

The kids will probably never like any man their mom brings home, so it’s a tough situation for her too.

Let’s see what Reddit thinks about this story.

This person shares what happened when a friend married someone whose kids hated him.

Here’s a suggestion to end the relationship.

Here’s another vote for breaking off the engagement.

He really only has two options, and neither one is great.

This is a lose lose situation.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.