Family dynamics can make it hard to know when it’s the right time to move out on your own.

Especially when you’re providing care to family members, moving can be a seriously touchy conversation.

This young woman wants to make sure she’s making the right decision after some medical issues arose in their family.

Let’s get the full story…

AITA for still moving out even though my step mom has cancer?

I (20F) still live with my parents. I hadn’t lived with either of them until around 6 years ago.

Shortly after I turned 16 my step mom got put on dialysis. Because my dad’s job requires him to be gone for days, I quit my job and took care of her for years.

Eventually she got her kidney transplant and was off dialysis so I went back to work (around the age of 18).

Even though I was an adult my dad told me I can live with him forever so long as I’m working and not just being lazy. I never planed to stay forever but wasn’t going to leave automatically.

That all makes sense for her age.

I still live with them now, but had been planning to get my own place.

I have a boyfriend who was long distance, his lease was over where he lived so we decided for him to go ahead and make the move.

I found some cheap apartments that I planned on going to until we could get our money combined and get a better place.

I told my parents I would be moving the next month (August) and told them the location.

They told me no, that it was a dangerous area and don’t want me to move.

I explain to them my situation with my boyfriend and they told us he could move in here, and we could save for things we needed.

They don’t mind me living here, but a boyfriend is another story. Once he was here, they seemed very annoyed by our presence.

Reminded us that we needed to be out, and would bash our current jobs and how much we make telling us we need to be saving to be out asap.

Not the best environment…

I reminded them we can go somewhere cheap and they insisted no and would get defensive, things got tense.

I started avoiding them and saving as much as possible as quick as possible.

We told them we would be out by the end of October and that was okay with them, though my step mom kept on with the badgering. We were fully prepared to moved and have made arrangements.

Things took a turn, this month we found out my step mom has terminal brain cancer on her frontal lobe that could cause loss of control of right side of her body, amnesia and more.

My dad and my grandma automatically assumed I would be staying here and taking care of her, even told me to quit my job to be home with her 24/7.

This kind of hit me, yes i understand she may need round the clock care but also just a month ago they were pushing me out.

She’s conflicted…

I have always been down to take care of family, but also I already made arrangements to move and felt very unwanted here.

Now that they need me or have a reason for me to stay it’s okay, but before it was get out asap.

I don’t plan on staying, I had already moved my boyfriend here from out of state and was fully prepared for us to start our life and have been feeling unwanted.

I did start working only weekends so while I am here I can help, and I am willing to come over and help when needed but am not willing to put our move off.

Let’s see what the comment said.

This person thinks it’s time for them to leave.

Other Reddit users pointed out some underlying issues.

Several had their sympathies for the situation.

But overall, most people were supportive!

Hopefully she got the answer she was looking for. It’s definitely time to move out!

If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.