Sometimes distance forms between family members because something horrible has come to life.

But that’s not the case in this story. Check out why he’s frustrated and annoyed with his dad.

Found out why my father hasn’t talked to me in 15 years – and it’s stupid.

My mother just told me that the reason they have been so distant with me over the last 15 years is because one night I was at their house and apparently I made a comment to my father that “You are stupid.”

I have no memory of this interaction and therefore cannot recall whether it was said in jest or in annoyance or anger. In fact, it doesn’t sound like something I would’ve actually said.

But his dad is supposedly profoundly affected by it.

My mother has no recollection of the context either, just that it was a slip of the tongue.

This hurt deeply for my father, and “wounded him to his core” and he has never forgotten this or forgiven me for saying these words to him.

Apparently this is why he has barely spoken to me in 15 years. He cannot let it go. My mother stated that our relationship and interactions cannot move forward because of this incident.

I feel that this is yet another emotionally abusive tactic. I grew up with them giving me the silent treatment and refusing to communicate with me when they were upset with me.

They commonly would not even make eye contact with me and would act as if I simply did not exist.

I would definitely apologize if I knew what I was apologizing for and remember the incident and recognized that I was out of line. But this feels extremely manipulative to ask me to apologize and take ownership for something that I can’t imagine that I actually did.

It feels like a manipulation tactic.

I’m also creeped out by the fact that he has used this as an excuse to be cold and distant for such an extended period of time and to essentially cut me out of their life.

Over the years, I have extended myself with many offers to be helpful or supportive as they have been going through things with their home or health and every time I have been fully rejected.

Both parents are in their 80s now and are starting to need more assistance. Despite their distant behavior with me, I have repeatedly offered to step up and be available to help as I believe this is the right thing to do.

But they have made it very clear that they do not want me involved or visiting, and they seem to be putting their trust in other people who only serve to make money off of them.

I am not a mean, spirited or hateful person in anyway, and I do not deserve to be treated this way by them.

AITAH if I respond by saying that because I don’t recall the incident and it is being brought to my attention so many years later, I do not feel that an apology is in order for something I have zero recollection over? I feel he needs to let this go and be an adult.

Here is what folks are saying.

Exactly what I thought.

Excellent advice. Know what you want first.

It’s sad, but sometimes it’s best.

Very. Good riddance.

Wise words. Therapy can help.

Dad’s not making sense.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a rude customer who got exactly what they wanted in their pizza.