As we grow up, we’ll learn that as adults it’s okay to occasionally disappoint the people around us – if we have good, caring parents, that is.

With the absence of caring parents, we’ll believe (maybe even for the rest of our lives) that it’s not okay to disappoint people, and that keeping those around us happy is of the utmost priority.

And that’s no life.

When the woman in this story made the decision not to go to a celebratory event packed with people she didn’t like, she was quickly at peace with her choice.

But the threat of her mother’s disappointment is becoming too much to bear.

Read on to find out what went down here.

AITA for refusing to go to my student-organized graduation ceremony?

I am a 22-year-old woman, and I’m in a conflict with my mother because I refuse to attend a diploma ceremony for my university major this Monday.

They won’t give us the degree, it’s just a diploma stating our generation ended. This ceremony was organized by students, not the university, though it will be held on campus.

It’s important to note that this student-organized ceremony is the only event for receiving our diplomas. There is no separate, official university ceremony.

The only other related activity is going to the administration office on a designated day with your family to pick up the physical degree and paperwork, but that is not a ceremonial event.

But still, this diploma is not the official degree for my major. This diploma is only a statement that our generation’s period ended.

Let’s see why she doesn’t want to attend the ceremony.

The reason I don’t want to go is that my graduating class has a horrible reputation.

While not every single person is terrible, the other students are largely skipping this event, meaning it will be dominated by the troublesome people I actively despise. I don’t like them nor do I want to be around them.

But when I told my mom I wasn’t going, she called me egotistical, self-centered, and a coward for not being able to tolerate a few hours with people I dislike. She said I was only thinking about myself and not about my family.

She insisted this event was important for them and that I was denying them the experience. She heavily guilt-tripped me by adding that as her only child, she has no other graduations to attend. She has, however, attended my older cousins’ graduation ceremonies.

Yikes! Read on to see how she responded.

I argued that it was unfair to guilt me for my decision. She replied that I was being inconsiderate and that she would “keep in mind that I only care about my own feelings.”

To defend myself, I reminded her that I’m not a selfish person. When I was a teen, I went along with a Quinceañera party that I didn’t want and didn’t enjoy, purely to make my family happy.

She just laughed and dismissed it, saying, “Oh well, it’s in the past now, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

The argument ended with her asserting her authority, saying, “You don’t know me, child. My ego is stronger than yours, and I decide we’re not going now because I say so.”

But despite her final word, her accusations have stuck with me and made me question if my stance is wrong.

I feel I’m making a decision based on my valid discomfort, but her words are making me second-guess myself.

AITA?

This woman is an adult, and she has valid reasons for not wanting to go this this unofficial ceremony – and these should be respected.

Sure her mom might want to attend, but it’s not her decision to make: she might be sad that it’s her only child’s graduation, but this suggests a selfish approach to motherhood – she’s in it for the glory, the milestones and the photos – rather than an actual love and respect of her child as an individual.

And that’s completely unfair.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.

This person agreed that as an adult, she gets to decide whether she attends or not.

And others pointed out just how disrespectful her mom was.

While this Redditor suggested she no longer discuss the issue with her mom.

The utter disrespect from her parent here is disgusting, as is her mom’s refusal to treat her daughter like the adult she is.

It shows just how little her mom cares about her.

And she absolutely shouldn’t back down.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.