Living with family can be difficult. Sometimes, they think you’re being inconsiderate even when you’re truly not.

For this person, her family seems to be constantly complaining about her not pulling her weight, but she feels like she’s done a lot despite her limitations.

Now, she’s not sure if she’s taken it too far. Let’s see…

AITA for not helping my family ?

Just this morning my family yelled at me for doing nothing and they went on a tangent about how “family should always help family no matter what”.

I really don’t want to be the kind of person they say I am, and their words are getting into my head, and so I’ve decided to turn to you all for help. Just years ago, I used to help them a bunch.

I’d cook, I’d vacuum, etc. I was happy to help my family.

But then things started happening that began chipping away at my patience and motivation to continue doing those things.

I wonder what changed…

My mom would start telling me I’m doing them wrong, even when I was doing them the way she taught me to, or she’d come In and make some nasty complaints about how I’m going to pay $10,000 to fix the floor if I don’t stop spilling water while doing dishes.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the solution to spilling a bit of water just to clean it up? Or lay down a mat or towel?

This didn’t ever stop, so eventually it turned into me just washing my own plate separate, rather than washing all of the dishes.

And this doesn’t stop there, it’s everything; showers, the bathroom, cooking, cleaning, and even how they interact with me.

That’s a lot of criticism.

We have two full baths and I always use the other baths shower, to avoid conflicting shower times. I’m an adult (25) and they still get on my case about these things.

As for bathroom times. They get on my case about being in the bathroom for too long if I’m even just a bit slow. I have IBS, which causes some pretty nasty stomach fits from time to time.

I don’t try to take long, it just happens sometimes. This problem even extended to town outings.

If I say I want to stay home because my stomach is turning, they say I’m faking my IBS and using it as an excuse to stay home and be lazy. They’ve even admitted they just don’t like leaving me home alone.

They say I’m ungrateful, that I don’t care about them or anyone. When the truth is, I’ve been trying to prove to them that I do care for years, but none of it was ever enough so I gave up.

My mom once slipped and fell on ice and I ran outside to help her. 3 days later I overheard her telling my brother I don’t care again. it just feels like there’s nothing I can really do to convince them.

That shows she still cares.

And if I don’t talk to them one day, they get mad and defensive at me for being too quiet and wanting to “just leave and go talk to her friends” and proceed to tell me in at least 5 ways how im ungrateful for prioritizing anything that isn’t family in that exact moment.

They don’t even ask me why im quiet. They even compare me to other people when I don’t comply. I’m just done. Done helping them. What do I do?

Am I the jerk here? I need help.

I want to be a good person but their words have fogged me so much I don’t know if I’m in the wrong, or if their in the wrong, or If it’s a combination of both of us…

Let’s get into the comments.

Overall, everyone had advice for how to navigate family issues.

This person suggests getting out as soon as possible.

Overall, there were mostly supportive comments and reassurance for her.

It’s definitely time to move out!

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.