Every culture has its own traditions, many of which are wonderful, and others can make life quite difficult.

What would you do if it were your family tradition that when a child first starts working, they had to give their first salary to their parents to honor their elders?

That is what is happening to the young woman in this story, but she wants to keep her money and spend it on her own needs first.

AITA for hesitating to give most of my first salary away even though it’s a tradition

I (22F) just started working in Singapore, I landed this job in December.

Not bad for a first job.

I’m currently on probation and earning 2.5k a month. Most of my expenses are pretty fixed like rent, food, and transport, etc.

My job requires me to take public transport a lot, so my transport alone is like 200$ last month , which I can’t really cut.

Things are expensive, especially when you are young.

On top of that, I still have about 20k in study loans, paying back around 300$ per month plus like 70–80 interest.

I also borrowed around 1k from a relative for my flat deposit, which I’m trying to pay back too.

This is a really smart goal.

My main goal right now is just to clear these debts as fast as I can so they don’t cling on me forever.

Just yesterday my parents called and asked why I didn’t send any of my salary back to my home to pay homage to elders and keep up with the respect-paying tradition in my country.

What kind of tradition is this?

I lowkey get the social Qs and the tradition, but it feels quite unfair for my first salary to basically vanish, especially since this is literally my first month of working.

They say it’s about respect and not losing face with relatives, but I’m scared that if I give what I have now, I won’t have any money left for emergencies.

You don’t have to follow every tradition you grew up with.

I even thought of giving a small thoughtful gift instead, but it got mocked as “too small,” which lowkey made me tear up.

Also, my younger sibling left for another country to study, and my mom wants me to help partially too, which I get, but honestly that’s not the main thing making me sad since I can manage to pay after a few months of working.

I would not be down for that either.

It’s the “must give back first salary pressure”.

I’m super frugal with myself too.

So, it’s not like she is just wasting her money.

Like in 4 years in Singapore I’ve bought maybe 3-4 outfits max. I don’t even buy stuff I like/need most of the time.

Even my manager who i got close at work asked why I haven’t bought/changed to new shoes since I got my first salary and year end sales are on going.

She should be proud of what she is doing.

I just said I’m saving to fix my teeth (which is true, I received a dental procedure last week and no I don’t have medical benefits from my company yet since it’s probation period)

I’m lowkey stuck between wanting to be a good child and keeping up with social expectations and needing to protect my own survival and financial stability at the very start of my career.

Not at all, she needs to be taking care of herself.

Am I wrong for feeling stressed about being expected to give my first salary when I got almost no flexibility in my finances?

AITA?

Every country has its own traditions, but some of them can seem downright abusive. People just starting out can’t afford to just give their money away.

Let’s see what the people in the comments think about this situation.

Keep your money, girl.

This commenter says she doesn’t need to pay.

Here is someone who comes from a similar tradition.

This is a good idea.

Yeah, times have changed.

Sometimes it is important to let traditions fade out.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.