Just because you have the space doesn’t mean you want to support someone else for four years.

So, what would you do if you were ready to start a family of your own, but your husband’s family wanted you to let his niece live in your home while she attended college nearby?

Would you stay quiet and let it happen because family helps family? Or would you draw the line and explain why you think it’s a bad idea?

In the following story, a wife finds herself facing this dilemma and is leaning toward the latter.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITAH for refusing to house and support husband’s niece?

My husband and I (30s) have been married for 3 years and recently bought our first house together. It’s a 4-bedroom house, and 2 of them are guest rooms for now.

We’re at a point in our lives and marriage where we want to start trying for kids, and I know it’s going to be rough because we both have some health issues and other issues surrounding that, and we both have stressful jobs.

My husband immigrated here from another country for graduate school, and his uncle supported him by paying part of his tuition, which he repaid later.

Now, her husband’s cousin wants his daughter to move into their home.

Husband has a cousin back in his home country, the same uncle’s son, who he has always been close to, though he’s considerably older than my husband. When he spoke to his cousin recently, he told him his daughter wants to pursue her undergrad education in the US and was accepted at a school 40 minutes from us.

He also told him that he’s under a lot of financial pressure because he recently purchased some property. My husband’s niece hasn’t confirmed yet where she wants to go, but they’re heavily leaning towards the one close to us because it’s close to us.

He asked my husband if she could stay with us if she chose the school near us. He mentioned a lot of “family helps out family” and brought up that his dad gave my husband money when my husband was coming here for higher education, etc.

Neither of them is totally okay with this.

I thought my husband was definitely not very okay with this given where we are in our lives right now, but when we spoke after this conversation, he told me that he’s not entirely comfortable with this but also doesn’t know how to say no to his cousin, it is his niece after all, that we have a big house, and she wouldn’t even be home most of the day.

I told him it’s not a dorm, that she would be home at night, so it’s definitely going to put stress on our marriage since that’s the only time we get to spend together.

We’re going to be expected to cater to her for 4 years, house, feed, drive her around (we only have one car), probably also pay for whatever she needs, and deal with any behavioral issues. Possibly for longer if she’s not able to get a job.

Her husband doesn’t want to tell his family no.

Mind you, I’ve never met his niece, but MIL has told me enough about her to know that she’s very entitled and doesn’t really think about other people, or really think through situations either.

She knows her dad is under a lot of stress financially, but has still insisted on going to school internationally. She would be getting a loan, but he is signing as her guarantor and will be on the hook if she’s not able to get a job.

She also doesn’t seem very aware of the current state of immigration in this country. Given that and how scarce entry-level jobs are in her field, she’s very likely not going to be able to get a job.

Husband saw my point but said we would be wrong to tell his cousin no, even though we have the means to do so, knowing it would put extra pressure on him to pay her living expenses.

AITA?

Yikes! It’s easy to see both sides of this, so what a tough situation.

Let’s see how the folks over at Reddit suggest they handle it.

This person sees both sides.

She should think about this.

Here’s someone who’s on her side.

This could work.

That’s a big commitment, and she’s right for saying no to something that she’s not comfortable with.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.