Losing a parent is painful enough without reopening old family wounds.

Imagine you had spent years caring for your declining father, while your sister refused to even visit because he made her uncomfortable, and then he passed away.

Would you feel obligated to call her immediately? Or would you take time to grieve and manage everything before reaching out?

In the following story, one sister finds herself in this scenario and chooses to take her time.

Here’s what happened.

AITAH I notified my sister of our father’s passing a week after he passed

My father passed away a week ago. He had Parkinson’s and dementia.

It was a hard road for him and us as he declined over the past several years, and especially hard the last few months.

I’ve been taking care of his bills, medical needs, food, clothes, etc., for the past 4 years since my mom passed.

Her sister didn’t call or stop by for years.

He lived with my husband and me for a year right after she passed, and as his needs grew and it was no longer safe for him to live with us (wandering out of the house while we were working, he fell down the stairs twice, etc.) we moved him to a wonderful memory care community.

My half-sister (his daughter, 9 years older than me) hasn’t seen him in 3 years. When he was going into memory care, I asked her if she could try to visit him once a week. She told me NO, that he made her uncomfortable with his dementia.

I was hurt and angry on my dad’s behalf and haven’t spoken to her since. She’s never called, visited him, or even sent a card in the past 3 years. I’ve been to therapy and worked on forgiving her and have moved on.

With everything going on, she didn’t tell her sister at first.

When he passed, I handled all of the arrangements and details. The estate lawyer said he would reach out to her via an official letter, but I realized I would hate to find out about my parents’ passing that way, so I texted her today, a week after he passed, to let her know.

I know a text isn’t the best way to break that news, but the last time we spoke, she screamed at me, and I just didn’t think I could deal with that right now.

As expected, she was livid that I waited a week to let her know. I felt like I was being courteous, that I don’t owe her anything.

AITA?

Yikes! This is a tricky situation.

Let’s see what the readers over at Reddit think about it.

Here’s someone who suggests she block and delete her sister.

According to this comment, it’s the sister’s own fault.

Here’s someone who dealt with something similar.

She did the right thing.

If her sister cared, she would’ve been part of her father’s life.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.