Planning a large get together for your friends takes a lot of work, and making changes at the last minute is often difficult.

What would you do if one person in the friend group said that her babysitter fell through, and she wanted to bring her young kids to this adults-only party?

That is what happened to the woman in this story, and she isn’t sure how to tell her that there won’t be room for the little ones this year.

AITA for not letting my friend bring her two children to our friendmas event?

Every year I (f31) host a Christmas dinner for a small group of friends to all get together and celebrate.

What a fun tradition.

We are all in our early 30s and the majority of us don’t have children. Of those that do, 1 has organized someone to take care of their child and the other is a newborn who won’t be leaving his mothers arms.

The event has always been at my house, a smallish apartment. I have invited 16 people this year, and have organized tables, cutlery, dinnerware and space accordingly.

It will be a bit crowded.

It will be a tight fit however is easily doable with some rearranging. I have exactly 16 dinner sets as these were purchased weeks ago for the event.

6 days prior to the event a friend messaged me saying she couldn’t find a sitter for her 2 children (6 & 3) and therefore her and her partner won’t be able to attend unless they bring the children.

I said that’s a shame and left it at that.

It is sweet that she really wants to come, but you can’t reschedule for so many people at the last minute.

4 days prior to the event she messages again, stating that we should move the event to a different location so there is space for her to bring the children.

I said no, the event is organized and has been planned for over a month, moving it at this date would be unsuitable.

She is clearly hinting that she wants to bring the kids.

She then says again “well myself and partner won’t be able to come unless we can bring the girls”.

I was busy so didn’t reply immediately and she messaged again “so can I bring them?” And I said I would let her know.

Extra people won’t fit, especially extra kids.

As mentioned, the apartment itself is quite small, so fitting an extra 2 guests at the tables won’t be possible.

I could possibly give them seats outside on a small deck that I have, however I haven’t met these children and don’t know if that would even be suitable.

Kids are great, but not everywhere.

I have discussed with 2 other guests who have said children of this age change the dynamic of the event substantially, and they aren’t the age where they can entertain themselves, add to this my house is not at all child friendly. They would have to BYO plates, cutlery, cups etc.

I don’t want to cause a problem in the friend group, and next year when a few of the group children are older I will make the event more child friendly, however AITA for not changing my event substantially with 4 days notice?

AITA?

No, there is nothing wrong with keeping an event adults only. And it might be nice to say that she will plan for kids next year but she just can’t do it this year.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this difficult situation.

This commenter says she will be in the wrong if she doesn’t tell her fast.

Yup, just give her a direct answer.

The friend should already know the answer, but that is not the point.

Yup, don’t delay. Let the friend know now.

This commenter says adults only parties are just fine.

Nothing wrong with an adults-only party, but she needs to tell her friend now.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.