When you have children, of course there is plenty to love about every day. But it’s natural to get particularly excited about dates and events that you know will hype up your kids, things that you know will plaster a big smile on their faces.

Central to this is birthdays. Of course vacations and trips to theme parks can be a lot of fun, and seeing a kid run around as they meet their favorite cartoon character or seeing their exhilaration after they ride their first kiddy-coaster can give you a big rush. But there is something about a child’s birthday – a day in which you can celebrate everything you love about them – that feels even better.

So parents might organize a party – even when the child is too young to remember it or even comprehend what is going on. They might order cake, splurge on presents, invite around the whole extended family, and do everything in their power to make their child feel extra special on their special day. Because enjoying your birthday – however that looks in your family – is one of the most fun parts of being a kid.

The mom in this story knows this, and is excited to celebrate with her daughter every year. But despite her best efforts at celebrating the rest of her family too, she’s consistently disappointed by her family members’ lack of effort when it comes to her daughter’s special day.

Read on to find out why.

Am I overreacting when friends and family keep forgetting my daughter’s birthday?

I have a young daughter whose birthday is regularly forgotten by my friends and our family.

Or if not forgotten, cards/presents come late and no one calls to ask to speak to her on her day.

I believe this may be a me problem – my husband and I make a fuss of her, and she gets plenty of gifts from us and a party with her friends every year.

She seems perfectly happy and has never said anything about people forgetting.

Nevertheless, the girl’s mom is upset by it.

But I feel hurt on her behalf that she doesn’t matter enough to be remembered by those I care about.

For those people I always make sure a card and text message arrive on time (as a minimum) for them and their children.

I wonder if this feeling of being forgotten isn’t actually about my hurt for my daughter, but my feelings from childhood…

Let’s see how she’s dealing with her feelings.

Anyway, I’ve only once ever expressed my hurt to 1 family member when they forgot and the response was awful.

They denied forgetting, then blamed me for not reminding them before apologising. So I’m reluctant to confront anyone again.

I just feel sad about it all.

When someone is at the centre of your world – like a child naturally is to a parent – it can be difficult when others don’t seem to care.

And if that’s how the woman felt as a child, it’s natural that it’s coming up now.

Maybe it’s time to scale back on her own thoughtfulness, and keep on making her daughter feel important and special, regardless of others’ attitudes.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about siblings who treat every social outing like a weird competition.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person thought the daughter’s happiness was the most important thing.

While others thought that she might be overreacting.

Meanwhile, this Redditor offered some possible explanations – and solutions.

This woman’s little girl is really lucky to have two parents who clearly adore her. The fact that they work hard to make sure she feels special on her birthday – giving her gifts and arranging a party – is something that will stay in her heart for the rest of her life, as she grows up knowing that she was truly loved. And sadly, that feeling isn’t a given in our world, so even a small family birthday will mean the world to her in the long run.

But given the effort the woman also puts into celebrating kids in her extended family, it’s normal that she feels a little let down when relatives forget her daughter’s birthday. However, the truth is that, unless she’s reminding them, she does need to give them a little more grace. After all, everyone has their own lives, their own dramas, their own priorities, and plenty of things going on that might get in the way of them remembering a child’s birthday – no matter how much they might love that child.

Because them forgetting her birthday doesn’t mean that they don’t care for her. It just means that she wasn’t central to their lives and their thoughts which, given she is not their child, is entirely forgivable. Not remembering is not the same as not caring, they might just need a little nudge in the right direction.