When parents have a sick child they need to focus on them to make sure they are cared for, but this can sometimes mean that other kids feel neglected.

What would you do if you were a healthy child who was feeling neglected by your parents because they were always dealing with your sick siblings?

That is what happened to the young man in this story, so he called his parents out for it, making them feel bad, and he isn’t sure if that was the right thing to do.

AITA for making my parents feel bad for not putting any effort into being MY parents?

I’m (16M) the oldest out of me and my siblings. I have a 12 year old sister and an 11 year old brother.

Medical issues can be devastating to a family.

When my sister was born things seemed normal at first and mom got pregnant almost as soon as she could. And then my sister was diagnosed with a pretty rare medical problem and she’s become severely chronically ill and my brother has the same thing.

Their condition makes them fragile and they’re in and out of the hospital on a pretty regular basis.

This sounds terrible.

Sometimes we’re lucky and they both go an entire month at the same time with zero trips to the hospital and other months there might be 15 visits in a single month. They get surgeries once a year and those require hospitalization for up to 10 days.

In the beginning of this, my parents were semi-good about praising me and paying me some attention but that doesn’t happen anymore. If they even acknowledge me some days it’s a big thing.

The family is clearly focused on the other kids.

Everything relating to me has to be picked up by someone else in the family or doesn’t get done.

And my extended family all stopped trying to be there for me and it’s been harder since. I don’t have them to talk to anymore because they don’t seem to care. My parents don’t have the time to talk to me.

I can totally understand why they want to be focused on them.

My parents also don’t accept respite services for my siblings. They’re so afraid because one time my brother ended up almost dying during a respite they did take for my siblings.

He was in hospital for 11 weeks and my parents never forgave themselves and they got really mad at me when I told them I missed when my siblings got taken care of for a few days so we could be together. They were like how could you miss that when your brother almost died.

This is very unfortunate, they need to work to provide for all their kids.

They basically neglect me because of my siblings needs. My teachers, guidance counselor and I think I probably have dyscalculia and I have never been tested or diagnosed because my parents never make it to a meeting and any phone calls they end because one of my siblings needs something.

I was 6 when this was first talked about and it wasn’t even as bad but they brushed it off because my sister and brother were both diagnosed with this rare thing. Only there was never a good time and my parents have to sign off on testing.

He is really struggling.

All the extra tutoring has done nothing for me. I am failing math and I have always had very poor math grades.

It also sucks to never have anyone there for me. At my school plays I didn’t always have someone there and it was never my parents.

This would be very difficult for a kid.

I was part of a team who won an award for my school and nobody came. I was the only kid from our team without ANYBODY there to support them and a teacher had to drive me there and back.

A few days ago my parents were taking time to relax because my siblings were in bed and doing okay.

I can see why they need to relax, but they can’t keep neglecting him.

I was emailing my boss about my work schedule and emailing a teacher about an assignment. I asked my parents to sign something and they said to leave it there and they’d do it after.

They say it all the time and never do, so I just put it back and said I’d skip the thing. My parents were like don’t be like that come and tell us about your day and stuff.

It is easy to see why he is frustrated, but at least the parents are making something of an effort.

I asked them what the point is because they never listen or care. I said they never get back to doing stuff for me when they say they will.

I told them if they say later when I ask for something I know to not even bother waiting anymore. They told me they’re doing their best and I shouldn’t try and make them feel bad.

Hopefully the parents will realized they need to do better.

So, I was like when did you guys last open an email from my school and I’m pretty sure it’s 2 or more years.

So, I said forget it and they said I was wrong to try and make them feel guilty because parenting three kids is hard. But they’re not putting the effort into being MY parents so why should I be understanding?

AITA?

These parents are going through something extremely difficult, but so is their son. They need to work on improving somehow, and hopefully him calling them out like this will help.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this unfortunate situation.

They really aren’t even doing the minimum.

It is hard to accept help, but they need to do it.

Yes, they need to do better.

He needs someone to be on his side.

This isn’t a terrible idea.

This is a terrible situation for everyone, but the parents need to do better.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a young woman who helped raise 18 siblings and is thinking about walking away for good.