Long-term friendships can be among the most important relationships in our lives. After all, you don’t choose your family, but the friends that you select to have around you through your life can plan a vital role in the ups and downs of your day to day. And this can be the case even as you get older – because whether you see them every day or just one a year, you know that the best of friends are at the end of a phone call and ready to drop everything, should you ever need their support.

For the guy in this story, his best friend is one of the most important people in his life. So when her and her boyfriend were looking for a new place and needed a couple of roommates, it was a no brainer. Why wouldn’t he move in with his best friend and the guy she was in love with? But despite what he might’ve expected, the reality of their living situation was less than peaceful.

But the real drama only got started once the best friend had gone out for the evening. Then, her boyfriend decided to show his true self to the best friend, who was left reeling.

Read on to find out more.

Am I overreacting when my best friend’s boyfriend came up to my room to scream at me late at night?

I am a 26-year-old gay man, and I live with my best friend of almost nine years (27, female).

We share the house with her boyfriend (33, male), and another roommate (30-something, male).

My best friend’s boyfriend moved across the country to move in with her within four months of them dating and calls her his “beautiful wife” with absolute seriousness.

I’ve never really liked him much, but he seemed pretty cool and nice and a few months later when they were looking for roommates I signed a year long lease with them.

But things have not gone well since they all moved in together.

Within two months of us all living together though, this guy’s aggression towards me has slowly escalated from general “go away” vibes to stomping around the house and slamming doors (which he has fully denied doing).

That was until the other night, when my best friend decided to leave the house because the conflict between me and him stressing her out.

Well, a couple minutes after she left, while I was on the phone with another friend, this guy marched upstairs to my room and pounded on the door full force, opened it, and screamed at me about what a “******* loser *******” I am etc. and a bunch of personal insults that he only knew because he was present for conversations I was having with my best friend about stuff going on in my life.

I walked up to the door to close it and he held it open with his hand and foot and yelled “NO” and just kept going on and on about how I’m a “******* ******* with no friends who needs to hear it from somebody.”

Let’s see how he responded to this abuse.

I said, “I’m not talking to you right now. You are holding my door open. I am closing it. You are not welcome here right now.” (I’m a teacher and know how to talk to elevated people).

I had to force the door closed, at which point he kept yelling at me for a little while before walking away.

Me and him were the only people in the house (which is usually when he does things like this, but this was a new escalation).

I packed a bag then and there and left for a friend’s house (the friend who was on the phone with me while this happened, heard it, and was like “dude get out of there”).

He’s determined to put this behind him – but his best friend is making it more complicated.

I’m not going back there except to get my stuff out, unless he moves out.

I texted my best friend what he did, and after a day she told me that she loves us both and wants to find a way to keep both of us in her life.

Am I overreacting? I think a true friend would break up with someone who did this to their best friend.

I don’t see a future where I’m friends with someone who is dating someone who did that to me.

It might be time for him to have a sit down with his best friend to actually tell her what happened, since she’s only heard it by text – but you bet she heard a very different version from her boyfriend.

And if she still doesn’t seem bothered by the alarming (and potentailly dangerous) anger her boyfriend showed her best friend?

Time to put some distance between them.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who was stunned when her friends finally admitted the reason for their falling out.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person agreed that the boyfriend was dangerous.

While others thought he was right to leave immediately, for his own safety.

Meanwhile, this Redditor was impressed by the way he handled it.

His best friend’s boyfriend is scary, and unless there’s some context that hasn’t been shared, the guy literally flipped out and verbally abused him out of the blue. And that is not okay. It’s no wonder that the boyfriend only treats his roommate in such an abhorrent way when his girlfriend is out of the house, because he really wouldn’t want her to see him like that. It may jepordise their future together, because who wants to be with someone who seems a safety risk to themselves – and potentially even future children too?

But that is the heart of the problem. Because he is sneaky, and these horrible patterns of behaviour only happen when his girlfriend is out of the house, she has no way of really knowing how this plays out. If she has never seen her boyfriend so angry, it must be difficult to imagine what her best friend is talking about – especially if her boyfriend is playing things down.

Besides a sting operation there’s not much that can be done here – especially if she trusts her boyfriend as much as she trusts her best friend. But the worrying truth is that ultimately, if he is going to behave like this, he is a risk to her safety too. So it must be hard for the best friend, who will want to be there for his friend but not want to be abused by her boyfriend any more. So he is right to try to make her aware, even if this does continually get disregarded. After all, he truth hurts, but sometimes we need to hear it.