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When kids are growing up, their relationship with their parents slowly transitions from one where they are a child to one where they are an adult. This almost always leads to conflict and arguments.

What would you do if you were getting ready to apply to colleges and wanted to apply to out-of-state schools, but your parents wanted you to go to school closer to home?

That is the situation the young man in this story is in, and it led to a major fight with his parents, during which he said some very hurtful things. Now he is grounded in his room, and he thinks he may have crossed a line during the argument.

I think that this is a pretty normal situation. He should apologize, but continue to consider the schools he wants to attend. Read through the full story below and see what you think about it.

AITA for telling my parents I don’t wanna live near them when I graduate?

Disclaimer: I have diagnosed anxiety and impostor syndrome. I take medication for it.

There are advantages to going to school close to home as well as moving away.

I (17M) was talking to my parents about applying to college after dinner last night. They have always suggested I go to school in state, but there is a particular city I want to live in, which is over and 9 hour drive from where I currently live. 2 of my top 3 schools are in this city.

I already struggle with feeling not good enough for the best schools, many of which I desperately want to attend.

His parents do seem a little overbearing.

My parents, however, are unconcerned and blow me off when I ask them for help with the frankly terrible process of beginning an application.

They frequently tell me to “do it myself” and never offer any help. My parents also have always been very involved in my future and life, for instance I had my cell phone monitored until last year, I pay a certain portion of my paycheck to them, and they gave me a short list of majors to choose from, which was fine, but stifling.

Wanting to keep him close to home is not a bad thing. Even if it should not be his only consideration when making the decision.

So, last night, they flat out told me that I shouldn’t apply to one of my top choices cause they want to “keep me close to home”.

I told them both that though I understand them wanting to be near me, I don’t want to live my life as a copy of theirs.

These all seem like very normal arguments as kids become adults.

They got really mad at me for saying that, and my dad yelled at me because I am “ungrateful for the comfortable lifestyle I have and have no respect for hard work.”

When he said that, I got pretty mad and told him “This is exactly why I want to move away from you guys. I just want my own life.”

He shouldn’t have yelled at them, but these things are normal.

Huge blow up ensued. I am now relegated to studying for the ACT and AP exams in my room, even though both are months away.

I feel like I took it to far since my parents have been really good to me and have provided me with more than most people have, and I feel like I owe them.

AITA?

This seems like a good, healthy family with parents and children who love each other. Of course, there will be arguments about big decisions like this. Apologize for saying things that may have crossed the line and move on.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this very common situation.

This commenter raises a good point.

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I think his parents do want what is best for him.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to make your own life.

Sure, his parents could be more supportive and helpful.

This commenter is a little extreme.

Arguing with parents is completely normal and nothing to worry about. While it can seem like a big deal at the time, what the person in this story is dealing with will almost certainly blow over.

He should listen closely to the advice his parents are giving, and then make his own decision. Just keep in mind, he will have to live with whatever comes as a result of those decisions.

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Author

Michael Levanduski