She Finally Turned Her Life Around After a Difficult Past. Now Her Parents Are Demanding a Full Confession of Her Old Mistakes.
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Just about everyone makes decisions when they are young that they regret as they grow up. Some more than others.
What would you do if you had made a variety of terrible choices that caused your parents a lot of heartache, but now that you are on the right path, your parents want to know every detail about that time in your life?
That is what the daughter in this story is experiencing, and she doesn’t want to share certain things about what happened in her past. Her parents, however, say that they need this information for closure.
Personally, I don’t think her parents are entitled to this type of information, and they need to let it go. Read through the full story below and see if you agree.
AITA for not telling my parents the details about my “bad habits”?
I (F 23) have been sober from alcohol and weed for over a year now.
People often do things they regret when they are young.
When I was in college, I made some very poor choices where I was drinking heavily, regularly smoking, and sleeping with a lot of different guys, all of which I hid from my parents.
I had a lot going on in my life at the time, although as I’ve admitted many times, it wasn’t an excuse for the bad decisions I made.
Her parents were obviously trying to help her, even if she wasn’t following their rules.
During my senior year I lived in a property that was owned by my parents and they let me live there rent free.
Although they put rules down, I disregarded most of them and continued doing what I had always done in college.
It is great that her parents could help her get back on track.
Long story short, my parents found out about my habits and came down hard on me. A they should have.
By this time, I was illegally buying weed and drinking excessively. I was, very nearly, an addict to both. My parents intervened and got me back on track to where I am today.
People don’t know exactly why they make every bad decision in their lives.
Now that I’m doing better, my parents, particularly my mom, have been demanding answers from me of why my life turned down that particular path of bad decisions.
I’ve explained as much as I can, some I don’t understand myself, and some details I’m keeping to myself to protect them. For example, they want the name of the person I illegally bought my drugs from, but I won’t tell them to protect them.
They aren’t entitled to the answers they want.
Sometimes I feel like they try to coerce answers out of me or make up elaborate scenarios of what really happened.
They didn’t deserve what I did to them, what I did to myself, or how I took advantage of them when I was addicted to substances, but I have built my life back together and am doing so much better.
What kind of closure does she even want?
My mom says I’m being selfish for holding the answers that could bring her closure, but there’s nothing to close anymore.
So, am I wrong for withholding the supposed “answers” that would bring my parents closure, even if I think it’s protecting them?
AITA?
Her parents need to realize that she is an adult now and they aren’t entitled to this type of information. She has no obligation to share, and certainly not to share on their timeline.
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Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this difficult story.
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Family therapy might be helpful.
Her parents need to accept the situation and move on.
It is normal not to tell your parents every little thing in your life.
As an adult, she can share what she wants. Her parents aren’t entitled to more.
She said they were bad choices, so they are bad choices. This commenter shouldn’t minimize them.
Her parents are just concerned, but they are definitely crossing some boundaries. I think she should explain to them that it would be impossible to give every single detail, so they need to find a way to be ok with what they know.
If there is any risk of relapsing back into the bad choices, however, she should be aware of that and allow her parents to help her avoid future issues.
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