Isn’t it insane how people confidently break rules and act like you’re doing your job wrong?

This guy shares how his job at an amusement park became an absolute nightmare because of some weird visitors.

Check out his stories!

More Tales from an Amusement Park: Camp American Idiot

Hello one and all! I’ve returned with more stories from my time working as a security guard at a theme park we will call Five Penants.

As I stated in my last story, this was the worst job I’ve ever had. It was only for one season, and it still aged me at least 10 years. I have two tales today. Camp American Idiots and Bigots. Bigots Everywhere

Camp American Idiots:

This is where it gets bad…

I knew from the start that today would be rough. It was already 85 degrees at 8am, and weather projections said it would reach around 100 degrees by 11.

To top it off, I was working a double. 9am till closing, usually around midnight. My only hope was that I was on a patrol, and not assigned to a ride for both of these shifts.

My worst fears were soon confirmed…

I arrive at work, sign out my radios and equipment, and look at the assignment board. There in bright red erasable marker is my name. And next to it my assignment. The most popular ride in the park AwesomeDude: Guy of Iron (Think super hero with red tights and giant letter on his chest).

I was assigned that ride for both shifts. I wanted to punch a baby out of anger right then and there. This was the most popular ride in the park, prone to a lot of problems.

That sounds problematic…

It had also been voted best coaster in the world several years running. It was EXTREMELY popular. Average wait time was over 3 hours. That meant dealing with a ton of people wanting to leave for the rest room.

It was fine to leave but we weren’t allowed to let people go back to their spot in line. Once they left the line, they left their spot. It was awful. I had a single life guard chair to sit and watch.

Or I could wander around and keep an eye on the lockers. I was not looking forward to dealing with line cutters, smokers complaining they couldn’t light up, and fat people causing a scene when they wait for 3 hours and then cant fit on the ride.

That happens WAY more than you think.

Cut to 5pm. The mid day heat is just starting to fade, but its still blistering hot out. The sweat stains on everybody’s clothes are like a moving, complaining, Rorschach test.

Things get worse!

All I see when I look into those shapeless patterns is myself, pulling my hair out, screaming “WTF AM I DOING HERE!” It’s hot, it’s miserable, and just an awful day.

Oh I missed a part. Today we had special guests at the park. Camp America, if I recall. It was a camp set up for kids who lost parents during 9/11.

They were obvious with their bright red shirts. They weren’t the only ones in the park that day, but you couldn’t go far without seeing at least a few of them.

Anyways, it’s late in the day, I’ve been dealing with bull crap since I first started my shift. A while ago I had seen a group of kids from Camp America enter into the line.

He knew the day would just get longer!

Now, a few hours later, they are near the stairs leading up onto the ride platform. I see one of them on the phone. A minute or two later, I see two other in Camp American shirts pushing their way through the crowd.

These two though, are counselors. I see them walk over to the group of 4 younger kids, and begin climbing the stairs with them.

So I walk over to them. They are next in line to get on the ride at this point. The operators of the ride see me and keep the car in the station. I approach one of the counselors and calmly explain that they can’t ride the ride.

Only the kids can. This counselor, Blake (Because he looked like a Blake. Just imagine any 80’s movie bad guy named Blake. Now throw him in modern clothes. Nailed it), didn’t like this.

Blake: Why can’t we ride the ride?

He was trying to explain the rules…

Me: You can. Long as you go to the end of the line and wait like everyone else.

Blake: But we’re counselors. These are our kids.

Me: Yea….

Blake: So we have to stay with them.

Me: So where were you the last 3 hours while they were waiting in line?

Blake: We were with them.

He explained how he had been monitoring them all this time!

Me: No. I was here the whole time. My job is nothing but sitting and watching. It’s awful, but easy. I’ve been watching them since they walked in because I thought it was weird that they didn’t have any counselors with them. But they were well behaved so I figured you guys just allowed them off on their own. Now I guess you just wanted them to wait in line while you used other kids to skip the line for other rides. (Note: We had been getting complaints all day about this from other park patrons.)

Blake: How dare you. This is Camp America man. This for kids who lost parents. IN 9/11!

Me: And did you lose anyone in 9/11?

Blake: No…

Me: Ok then. So here’s the deal. You’re holding everyone up. You cut hundreds of people who have waiting hours for this ride. You left your kids, who you’re in charge of, alone for several hours. And you used them to ride the rides without having to wait. So, if you want to ride it, go to the end of the line.

That’s INSANE!

Blake: We have to ride with the kids.

Me: Ok tell you what. Why don’t you go and ask everyone in line if it’s ok with them. If they all say yes, I’ll let you ride with them. Tell them it’s for 9/11. They’ll understand I’m sure.

At this point Blake is staring at me. People in line are chuckling. One large man, who was behind the kids in line simply says “Don’t even bother. End of the line”, which got a good laugh from the crowd.

Blake and the other counselor just told the kids they’d wait for them at the exit of the ride and walked back through the line. The kids got on the ride, and the car began its ascent up the lift hill.

As I was about to walk away, the same guy who had just told Blake to pack it in, waves me over.

UH OH…

He is with 4 people, and says he wants to give up his spot on the next car for the Camp kids. “They already went through enough. It’s unfair they have to lose a parent and be stuck with idiots like that. We can go after their second ride.”

Dude’s an American hero. So the ride comes back into station, I tell the kids someone has offered to let them go again if they wish. They all cheered and took another turn riding.

And now for the dark side of humanity: Bigots. Bigots Everywhere

So at our park, we would host groups on occasion. They were offered first sale of tickets for a day of their choosing. If they could sell X amount of tickets, the park was theirs for the day.

Onto the next event!

If they couldn’t, they would get first entry into the park, and then the park would open and hour later for regular guest. They would be told their is a group function before they purchased their tickets.

It’s also a little bull crap because season ticket holders would only be allowed entry if they purchased a ticket for the day.

I walked into work, and saw a huddle of my co workers. Wails of lament could be heard from yards away. “Man, if I had known, I would have called out.” “Absolutely hate this day”

I ask what’s wrong, and I’m told that it is “Gay Day”. Apparently once a year a local LGBTQ magazine rents out the park. It isn’t advertised ahead of time because it draws protesters. My boss gathered us round and explained what’s up. He had some simple rules for us to follow.

1.) Treat everyone with respect. Doesn’t matter our beliefs, you will be fired and held accountable if you do something stupid

2.) Don’t call anyone sir or ma’am or miss today. Just to be safe and avoid awkwardness.

3.) If we see someone enter into a restroom and aren’t sure of their gender, just keep an eye on it, but otherwise let it go.

They had fair rules to get through the day…

Simple enough. I have several friends in the LGBTQ community, and it doesn’t bother me none. My boss pulls me aside and says he wants me at special duty today.

This basically consisted of hanging around the ticketing area to deal with unruly customers. And also responding to any calls over the radio.

I couldn’t imagine being needed for anything, but man was I ever wrong.

Soon after I was at the ticketing area dealing with an irate waste of life. A gentleman was not happy that it was “Fag day”.

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WoL: This is bull crap. I came here from Vermont. And I can’t spend a day with my kids here because some queers wanna prance around? This is wrong!

That sounds bad!

Me: Sir. I’m gonna need you to stop swearing and calm down

WoL: Who are you? Some gay lover? Working for a gay loving company?

Me: Sir I’m not even gonna deal with this today. It’s not even 10am and you’re already winning bigot of the day. We don’t want your money, so you can take your kids and leave.

WoL: And what are you going to do about it?

Me: Me? Ask you to leave. And let you get worked up until something happens. Then I’ll hold you here in front of your kids till those nice cops over there arrest you for assault, public disturbance, and whatever else they can tack on there.

Things were getting heated up between them!

He decided it was a good time to leave at that point. I wish I could say this was the only person like this. But most of the day was spent asking several people to leave the ticketing area.

We had one arrest from a guy who threatened a ticket girl. Several instances of people threatening to “sue for discriminating my religious liberties” what?

One of these ladies was priceless:

Lady: This is wrong. I will sue. You’re forcing beliefs that aren’t my own onto me and my children. You’ll corrupt them.

Me: Ma’am sitting here saying Jesus doesn’t approve would also constitute forcing your beliefs on others. And everyone seems to be having a good time. I apologize if this makes you uncomfortable but they bought entrance to the park.

They were being unreasonable!

L: You need to read the Bible and see what Jesus says about the gays.

Me: He doesn’t say anything. It’s all old testament. It’s next to the part that says you can’t eat shellfish, or cut your hair, or wear clothing of mixed fibers. Doesn’t stop you from cutting your hair though.

L: This place is the hell on earth! You’re all demons!

M: Have a great day!

It was awful. I’ve never heard worse things in my life.

GEEZ! That sounds like a lot of workplace drama!

Some people really try to get clever for no reason!

Let’s find out what folks on Reddit think about this one.

That’s right! This user knows you cannot argue with these people.

This user knows this place has now become a favorite destination!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a friend who is upset they missed out on cheap festival passes due to her pal’s indecision.

This user has a persona for who the author of this story might be.

This user agrees that these people are dumb!

Somebody needs to get a better job!