A friend in need is a friend indeed has now been proven wrong!

Imagine agreeing to be maid of honor for your friend’s wedding. If you put in a lot of work and time helping with plans as well as being emotional support, would you be willing to make even more compromises and cancel events that were important to you just to go out drinking with her before the wedding?

In this story, a woman shares how her marathon training impacted her ability to participate in the bachelorette activities she’s helped plan. Now, she’s wondering if she’s wrong for refusing to compromise.

Check out the full story.

AITAH for choosing my marathon over the bar crawl at a bachelorette?

I was asked to be a MOH by a girl I knew of from high school.

For context: we never interacted in high school and only knew of each other.

She asked to hang out and become friends with me almost a decade after high school.

You would not have expected things to go in that direction…

From that point we had only been friends for about a year until she asked me to be her MOH. When she asked me, I didn’t feel super close to her so I was honestly surprised.

She claims I’m her best friend and always wants pictures of us together for her Instagram, but I always found those optics pretty superficial and not consistent with how much we actually interacted, or real closeness.

She seemed popular in high school so I was surprised to quickly realize that she hardly seemed to have any other female friends ten years later.

I felt bad for her because she told me how all her previous best friends were bad friends to her and that’s why they’re no longer in her life.

She really did everything it she could as MOH!

I took the MOH role seriously and did everything I could to give her everything she wanted, supporting her through everything.

This included:

1. Helping the fiance propose to her before my MOH role

2. Attending the dress shopping

3. Spending hours planning the entire bachelorette weekend

She rolled with changes and emotions.

4. Touring the wedding venue with her and her fiance

5. Not saying anything when she had us pay $200 for bridesmaids dresses and then deciding she wanted to change them to something else

6. Supporting her emotionally while she fought with her MIL

7. Supporting her emotionally while she fought with her fiance

She was always the bigger person.

8. Being bipartisan, positive, and taking on the responsibility when her other bridesmaids/sisters said they wouldn’t help set up the bachelorette or do really any bachelorette tasks that I asked for their help on

9. Maintaining a positive relationship with her despite her not being a very good friend to me. I didn’t call her out when she didn’t show up for me or let me down for anything, I just let it be because fighting wasn’t anything I was really interested in.

But this is where it gets bad…

When she started to act inappropriately to me (controlling, mean, manipulative, putting me in uncomfortable and frankly unsafe situations) I would lay appropriate boundaries neutrally, and then console her when she cried after I laid them.

I constantly showed up for her when others didn’t, and I had every reason not to.

This was probably my big mistake, but again, I was taking the MOH role very seriously because it mattered to me that she had at least one person there for her that she could count on caring for her.

Well now we’re here.

She had to attend to her passions…

I was training for my first (and probably only) marathon for ten months. The race date that was supposed to happen this weekend got postponed a month out to the day we go home from the bachelorette weekend.

Meaning I have to maintain my peak marathon fitness and adjust for tapering, injury management, and continue to run double digit miles every week.

It is wreaking havoc on my body, my wallet, and my schedule.

I’m trying to get it over with ASAP.

She made sure everyone was in the loop.

Right away I sent a message in the bride/bridesmaids group chat informing everyone, and letting them know that I will have to be sober that weekend, and that I will have to depart in the evening of the last night in order to drive the hour and a half back home and go to bed at a reasonable time. Effectively missing only the last couple hours of the entire weekend.

The bachelorette was designed with 11 activities, and I was able to be a part of ten of them, just no drinking and no final bar crawl.

I maintained positivity and an essence of security with the logistics throughout the text.

That wasn’t good enough for the bride.

The bride responded that it’d be best if I didn’t come at all.

I was flabbergasted.

I planned the entire thing and showed up for her for over a year. I was still able to do the wedding, bridal shower, and most of the bachelorette weekend minus the last couple hours of drinking, and I was being punished for not being able to do everything perfectly.

The bride really asked too much of her.

She later called me on the phone to double down and say that I should just wait to run until next year or sign up for a different one. That she asked me to be her MOH before I started running so I should’ve prioritized her. That there are a million marathons and she only gets one wedding.

From a logistics perspective, I explained why that isn’t really realistic in terms of the training load, fitness maintenance, and financial loss.

I explained it didn’t really make sense for me to endure such a massive sunk cost on the milestone I worked for in lieu of trading it for a couple hours drinking at a bar, which we do all the time.

Especially since the important event is the wedding, not the last couple hours of drinking at the bachelorette.

While I can understand her values and her feelings from her perspective, I think the way she responded was extremely poor.

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She had to prioritize…

I was trying to accommodate for everyone’s life milestones, and explain why this is important to me and why it’s not that simple.

And I was not met at all with the same effort or grace. I was met with entitlement, control, and further bullying.

She told me on the phone that she didn’t want me there at all because she “didn’t want to have to deal with me”.

I told her since I’m not welcome to any of the bachelorette, that it doesn’t really make sense for me to be MOH and stepped down. Based on her response it looked like she was calling me to ask me to do that anyway.

This is so sad…

I am completely crushed. I have been in tears for days.

And maybe I’m reading into this too much but it looks like she may be trying to pick on me further by driving to my city one day later, inviting our friends out without me, and posting it on her Instagram.

I guess my problem now is while I feel bullied, I can’t help but also feel extremely guilty.

Most people I confided in supported me but some others said I was wrong for this. That I really should put all of a bride’s events before any of my life events if I’m the MOH. AITAH?

OUCH! That sounds so heartbreaking!

Why would the bride act so mean towards her MOH?

Let’s find out what folks on Reddit think about this one.

This user knows nobody should be upset over something so small.

That’s right! This user has a good piece of advice for this woman.

This user thinks this whole situation is a nightmare!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a family who finds a technicality in the law that allows them to keep their pool after their neighbors report it.

This user thinks this isn’t as serious of a situation to get sad over.

This user suggests not going to the wedding!

She needs to stop overthinking her decision.