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We all understand the concept of webmail, right? You access your email on the web, the internet. It’s not tied to a specific computer.

Well, the customer who complained in this story clearly didn’t understand that concept at all. She was convinced she needed a tech support worker to transfer her webmail from one computer to another, and she also claims she had one of her internet service provider’s tech workers do this for her.

That’s actually not what really happened at all.

Keep reading for all the details from the perspective of the tech support worker who took her irate phone call.

Your webmail got me fired

$FMB = $FlexMoneyBiceps, this handsome hunk of flesh, not a robot, you can’t prove it, and working L1 ISP support during this time

$CC = $CrazyCustomer, an ISP customer who doesn’t understand how webmail, or craiglist, in the end, works

So this is a story from when I used to work at $RelativelyMediumSizedISP. $RMSISP, like all ISPs stuck in the 90s, provided (and still provides, though I think they’re trying to get away from that) email addresses for all of their customers, with webmail to come with it.

The customer was upset about something that seems kind of crazy.

Phone rings.

$FMB: Hi, this is $ISP tech support, how can I help you?

$CC: You [fantastic people] got me [fantastically] fired! I can’t even access my webmail, you [amazing people]! I just wanted you to move it from my home computer to my work computer!

$FMB: I’m sorry to hear that- but it’s webmail, you can access it from any computer just by going to (webmail address) and putting in your username and password.

The customer doesn’t seem to understand.

$CC: Yeah but it’s on my [fantastic] work computer now! I want it on my home computer! You guys need to stop doing such a [swell] job and do your [goshdarn fantastic] job!

$FMB: Is it not showing up in your webmail? Do you have a client that you have, that’s set to POP3?

$CC: I don’t use a mail client or whatever! I just want my [goshdarn] email! And I want you to pay my lost wages!

Obviously, this isn’t how webmail works. She doesn’t want to hear it, though. I am curious at this point how the ‘fired’ bit is going to come in- I know it will somewhere along the line.

The customer really seems confused.

$FMB: Okay, I can definitely help you with accessing your webmail. Let’s get a browser window open- whichever you prefer, IE, Firefox, Chrome… (I always listed these just in case they didn’t know what a browser actually was.)

$CC: No! Your tech came out here, moved my webmail from my home computer to my work computer, and then my job [fantastically] fired me for it! You need to send someone back out here to fix your [swell] job, you [fantastically amazing people]!

Checking her records, she hadn’t had a tech out since installation. What?

OP starts asking questions that unravel the mystery.

$FMB: Ma’am, we haven’t sent anyone out to your location since you got your internet installed. Who did you have come out?

$CC: One of your techs! I told you! I’m going to quit my service you [goshdarn swell…bags]! I demand you reimburse me!

$FMB: Did you call in for tech support first? (She doesn’t have any recent calls logged either.)

$CC: No, [smart donkey], I went to craigslist and just had one of your internet people come out!

— what.

Wow. This lady clearly doesn’t understand the internet at all.

— $FMB: …Ma’am, let me get this straight. You went to Craigslist and hired someone to move your webmail, which is on our servers, from your home computer, to your work computer?

$CC: Yes! How is that so hard to understand? I hired one of your internet people, and now my job has fired me because they said something about ‘unauthorized access’ and ‘tampering with company equipment’! What did your [amazing, fun-loving] tech do?!

$FMB: Ma’am, people you hire from Craigslist aren’t associated with $ISP. We don’t do anything with Craigslist.

$CC: It’s on the internet! You’re the internet company! I want you to come back out here, get my webmail off my old work computer, and I want you to pay me for the job you made me lose! Now!

The lady was determined to get the problem solved her way.

$FMB: …I can help you with getting your webmail, ma’am, if you’re willing to troubleshoot and work with me here, but we will not be reimbursing you for your job.

$CC: Then I don’t want to talk to you, you [fun-loving amazing swell bag]! Get me your supervisor!

So I escalated it up.

OP actually likes these crazy calls.

While I had the lady on hold, and was explaining the situation to the L2 who had to deal with her, I legitimately had a hard time explaining it because I was laughing so hard.

I loved these kinds of calls- we can’t help you, we won’t help you, you won’t let us help you, and you’re nuclear fire mad.

It’s the best.

Here’s how the story ended.

Then I got promoted a week later and my job ended up consisting almost entirely of these types of calls.

End of the story- she didn’t let the L2 show her how to get into webmail, she threatened to sue about the reimbursement, and then she got stonewalled right to legal after making that threat.

I don’t think she called in ever again.

Imagine blaming an internet service provider because you lost your job. She lost her job because she was stupid and did something really stupid. Imagine thinking someone you hire from Craigslist works for the ISP.  That’s pretty stupid.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

Another person thinks this is a pretty stupid thing to do.

This person thinks they know why she got fired.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an employer who has an unexpectedly hard time retrieving a company vehicle from a fired employee.

Another person has to deal with a coworker who doesn’t seem to understand email.

This person can relate to how ridiculous this statement is.

I really want to come up with a nicer way to describe the caller than using the word “stupid,” but I just can’t think of one. Clueless maybe. Dense. Dumb. Not too bright. Okay, I guess I can actually think of a few similar words, but somehow “stupid” seems to sum it up the best.

I hope she can find a job that doesn’t involve email.