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Teens usually have a rebellious phase because it’s actually healthy to start thinking more independently as they enter adulthood.

But for one 18-year-old, becoming a doctor has been presented as the obvious path since childhood, largely because her own mother is a doctor and has expectations that she will do the same.

The thing is, her mother’s expectations seem to extend far beyond academics. She monitors her daughter’s relationships (even read her journal!), friendships, university choices, and now wants to decide where she will live.

After taking the UCAT and preparing for medical school, OP wants to give herself another chance to apply closer to home rather than immediately moving hours away to a rural university.

In the meantime, her mom started insulting her while assuming she wants to stay because of a boyfriend.

What would you do in her situation?

Read the full story below.

AITA for refusing to go to medical school?

I am 18 female with a very strict mother that doesn’t allow me to have a boyfriend or go to parties, and from as young as I can remember told me I had to go to medical school (she is a doctor).

When I was 17 I met a guy and we began dating, I didn’t tell my mum because anytime I had even been briefly speaking to a guy she would begin sobbing and telling me that I would be a prostitute and that a boyfriend would ruin her future (she’s happily married btw).

It interfered with her relationship.

Ultimately, the secrecy got too much, she would stalk my location and we broke up as a result.

I then began finishing my final year of school and required two things to get into med school: an ATAR (similar to GPA in America) and a UCAT (test for med).

Usually people do the UCAT after they finish school without the stress but my mum had forced me to do it.

My results were okay but she had assured me that I could just do it next year.

Her mom keeps trying to control her.

Now she keeps trying to get me to apply to universities (similar to college) that are very far which in Australia you don’t move away from uni, these are rural areas where I’m a plane ride hours away from family and I have to completely live on my own.

I had told her if my UCAT goes poorly I would go to the unis far away in the Gold Coast (I live in Sydney), but that since I had spent so much money and time on the UCAT, I wanted to give it another shot.

She began laughing in my face and making fun of me telling me that I was a disappointment and good for nothing.

It’s just toxic and getting worse.

She told me that she had gone through my notebooks and knew that I had a secret boyfriend and that the only reason I was trying to stay was because of this guy, which is false since me and my ex have been in no contact and broken up for 11 months now.

She’s so obsessed and male-centered that she doesn’t understand that I could have reasons for wanting to stay, like my friends, community, security that don’t revolve around a man.

At this she’s guilt-tripping me, degrading me through insults like ****** idiot, **** shaming, threatning to call my friends parents and interrogate them if I have a secret boyfriend.

But she’s wondering if she made a mistake.

My entire life I have been neglected and so envious of people close enough to tell their mothers things, I always wanted to get a boy to meet my family, or go to a party.

Now she wants to control my life, this includes her not letting me see my aunty because my mum gets upset over the tiniest things.

My aunty is my only family in Australia and helped raise me, but because she and my mum are fighting, I’m not allowed to see her.

At this point I want to be a doctor but my mom’s threatening to kick me out if I don’t take the path she wants me to take, and basically cut me off.

I have no idea what to do and feel like she doesn’t view me as my own person but just an extension of herself.

AITA?

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Yikes. What did Reddit think?

A reader shares their thoughts.

Perspective.

Yup.

Another opinion.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who refuses to change her 4th of July traditions for her in-laws, sparking a family feud.

Something to consider.

She actually does want to become a doctor, but her mom is ruining it by smothering her.

The conflict isn’t even about rejecting medicine; it’s about wanting some control over how she gets there and what the rest of her life looks like along the way.

Her mom is making her anxious and trying to control her, and this is starting to look like sabotage.

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Author

Mila Cardozo

Yells her own name like a Pokémon sometimes.

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