He Funded Private School for His Twin Nieces—Then His Sister Demanded He Either Pay for Her Three Stepchildren Too or Cancel the Nieces’ Education
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Blended families can get pretty complicated when some of the kids have things the others don’t.
One man is dealing with that after spending years helping pay for private school and activities for his twin nieces.
Then, his sister remarried a man with two children of his own, and the differences between the kids started creating tension.
Now, his sister says they may have to stop accepting the help because it’s making the family harder to blend.
The problem is that doing that would mean taking things away from the twins that they’ve had for years.
Read on to see exactly what’s going on.
AITA for not paying for my BIL’s children education, like I do for my nieces?
My sister remarried after she finally left her husband, who ****** and cheated on her.
She has twins with him, and I want to make sure they have the best possible shot at life.
I pay for them to go to private school and for their extracurricular activities. One is in ballet, and the other is taking piano lessons. They are 8.
Unfortunately, paying for the additional children is not an option.
Now, my sister’s husband has two children of his own from a previous marriage, which ended for similar reasons. Though it seems the fact that I am doing what I am has caused some tension.
They cannot afford to send his kids to private school or extracurricular activities. It seems it has also made blending the families more complicated due to the divide.
Even if I wanted to, I could not afford to cover tuition for two additional children. I also have a college fund for my nieces, and he does not for his children.
The situation is causing problems for the family.
Not to be that person, but I know my sister was not ready to have a child, let alone two at once. That is a different topic, and it does seem the same could be said for my BIL.
My sister feels that if I cannot help them with his children, then they can no longer accept my assistance because it is causing far too many problems. It seems it has created a have-and-have-not situation, especially when it comes to events.
My BIL’s children don’t want to go, which appears to have become a sore spot. Since my BIL either leaves his kids with someone else to support my nieces, but alienates his own children, or forces them to come, but they let my nieces know they don’t want to be present, or he stays with his children and my nieces feel alienated by him.
While he sees where they’re coming from, he’s still afraid it will cause further problems.
They do like him and want to be one big happy family. They want to share what they love with their new siblings. The issue is my BIL’s boys don’t, and they are young, so I get that this is difficult to understand for them.
The issue is, if they don’t accept my assistance, my nieces will not be able to continue to go to the school with all their friends and will not be able to continue doing what they enjoy.
Now, I’m afraid it will further divide the family because I know my nieces will not understand why they cannot do what they have always done.
AITA?
Oh no! This is such an unfortunate situation.
Let’s check out what the readers over at Reddit have to say about what’s going on.
According to this comment, that happens in blended families.
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This person thinks his sister is bad at choosing husbands.
Here’s someone who thinks the BIL should figure it out on his own.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman whose family says she’s selfish for not wanting strangers living in her trailer.
This reader thinks it will cause resentment.
This one’s tough, but the uncle shouldn’t be expected to take on more than he can afford.
He’s been helping his nieces for years, and his sister’s remarriage doesn’t suddenly make him responsible for two more kids.
At the same time, it’s easy to understand why the differences are causing tension at home.
Still, taking those opportunities away from the twins isn’t the answer. The adults need to find a way to handle the divide without punishing them.
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