It’s a lovely gesture to be invited to the wedding of someone close to your partner- until you realize your invitation precludes you being the event planner as well. Nothing says romance like realizing your travel to a destination wedding hasn’t been booked.

How would you handle your partner completely dropping the ball on a simple weekend trip? One woman recently shared a wild example of this with Reddit. Here’s what happened.

AITA for Not Want to Attend My BF’s Friend’s Wedding Anymore With Only 3 Week Away?

In around July of last year, my boyfriend and I were invited to his friend’s wedding in another state.

We’d have to leave on 6/12, the wedding is on 6/13, and we’d be returning on 6/14 (very short trip).

It’s currently 5/22 and literally nothing has been booked yet.

This is already off to a very stressful start.

For context, this is one of his friends from a previous job when he lived in another state.

I’ve only met the bride twice and while she’s really nice, we’re not close and we don’t really talk outside of occasional messages.

At first, I was completely willing to go and thought it would be a fun little trip.

Plans that far in advance always seem that way.

As time has gone on, it’s become more unnerving because we’ve known about this wedding for months and my boyfriend has continuously put off planning it.

The only planning he’s done is deciding when we’d be leaving and when we’d be returning.

I don’t know if he’s even scheduled off work for it but I’m not 100% sure.

This guy needs to get it together.

Every few weeks he’ll say “we need to book tickets this weekend,” and then it never happens.

I asked him early on that since it was his friend and his plans, if he could organize the trip.

I tend to end up handling/planning a lot of things for us so I wanted this to be his gig.

A fair enough expectation.

I told him I’d help look, but I didn’t want to fully manage it myself. He agreed.

I love him, but he can be very forgetful which is why I’ve told him to set reminders and I’ve also reminded him a few times over the past several months to book everything.

Now we’re 3 weeks away and… no plane tickets booked, no rental car booked, he hasn’t gotten dress clothes yet, and no wedding gift figured out.

Seems like it’s not exactly a priority for him.

Nothing has been finalized at all.

I looked up prices myself out and flights alone for both of us are already around $600+, and with the rental car and everything else the trip will probably end up close to $1,000 for just a weekend trip.

Money is already very tight for us because of this economy and because of bills, etc. I’d also most likely have to pay for more than half of the cost since I’m the breadwinner.

The writing on the wall is becoming increasingly clear.

On top of that, my cat has been really sick recently and there’s a possibility he may have lymphoma.

We would have someone to watch him, but I’ve already been really emotionally stressed and uneasy about leaving him.

I honestly don’t even want to go anymore because the closer it gets, the more overwhelmed I feel that this become a last-minute, stressful situation after months of knowing about it.

Most sensible people would feel this way.

A worry is that if we don’t end up going, I’ll look like the bad guy because last year, we told them we’d be going.

Ultimately, I’d be the “decision maker” in this situation as to whether I’m gonna go or not.

And that responsibility shouldn’t be put on her.

I don’t want the couple to think poorly of me but I also wouldn’t wanna throw my boyfriend under the bus for his lack of initiative in this matter.

AITA if I tell him that if things aren’t booked by the end of the weekend, I’m no longer comfortable going?

Oof. There’s no way out of this one that isn’t wildly awkward. Let’s see if the good people of Reddit could offer any words of wisdom.

The comments immediately rushed to the rescue.

A few jumped to the important questions.

Many suggested a hard and fast boundary.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister with a bad history who found herself staying in a hotel instead of with family.

Others broke out the harsh truth.

Though someone shared a wildly detailed escape plan.

The lack of planning on his part is definitely causing an emergency on hers!