Pexels/Reddit

Helping family with childcare often starts as a simple favor, but it can quickly grow into something far more draining than originally intended.

One stay-at-home mom had already scaled back from watching her brother’s toddler multiple days a week down to just Thursdays, a compromise built around a shared preschool plan that only offered care three days a week.

Despite her parents covering the cost of both kids’ tuition, including extended hours, the responsibility of unpaid childcare still fell entirely on her, all while she was already solo parenting her own two young children for long, exhausting stretches.

Now, feeling overwhelmed and increasingly resentful of the arrangement, she’s considering stepping back entirely, but family pressure and her own earlier commitment are making that decision feel far more complicated than it should be.

Keep reading for the full dilemma.

WIBTA if I stopped providing childcare

I watch my brother’s toddler one day a week. It used to be more, but I told them it was too much for me and said I could only do one day a week.

Having a child of her own, she only had limited energy to give.

We have a toddler similar ages. We wanted to send them to preschool together, and the school we loved only provided M/W/F care. I said I could help on Thursdays.

My parents pay for my kid and theirs to go to preschool, btw. They pay extra for some extended hours.

She already has a lot on her plate.

Anyways, I have a 3 yr old and a one year old. I’m a SAHM, and most days I am solo parenting super long hours and am super overwhelmed.

She’s getting tired of all the extra responsibility.

I don’t want to be childcare for them anymore, but I have a lot of pressure from family to be helping them, as well as I originally told them I would when we found this preschool together. I do watch for free.

Anyways, WIBTA if I said I could no longer help?

Sounds like cutting back is the right choice.

What did Reddit have to say?

For this commenter, it comes down to disrespect.

Her brother’s kids aren’t really her responsibility at the end of the day.

There’s some nuance to this conversation.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who offered to buy his parents a house with his lottery winnings, only to find out they think they deserve half of all his winnings.

It’s important to be open about her feelings.

Agreeing to help family once shouldn’t mean signing an unspoken lifetime contract.

This SAHM mom already had more on her plate than many parents could dream of, and she demonstrated good faith by scaling back and being honest about her limitations.

When you already have children of your own to look after, adding on another isn’t as easy as her brother makes it seem.