Regardless of where you’re from in the world, many cultures consider gift giving a fundamental part of maintaining relationships. Whether it’s a gift of respect to an elder or a birthday present to a child; a post-vacation gift to colleagues or a romantic gift like an engagement ring, giving gifts is a huge part of being human. Even plenty of creatures in the animal kingdom give gifts, whether to one another or to humans in interactions, so it’s no wonder so many of us love choosing the perfect present for a loved one.

That does not mean to say that gift giving is mandatory – in fact, mandatory gift giving removes a whole lot of fun from the experience. But buying a little treat for a loved one who is having a hard day or choosing something as part of a celebration can bring the gift giver – as well as the receiver – a whole lot of joy.

The woman in this story is a big fan of gift giving, and enjoys picking out birthday and Christmas gifts for her family and loved ones – an exchange that has always been reciprocal. So imagine her confusion when her birthday rolled around and she received not one gift from her family.

Read on to find out what happened here.

WIBTA if I confronted my family about not getting me a birthday present?

Just for context I am 26. I’m not a baby who needs a big present to open on her birthday, but getting each other presents for special occasions is a given in my family.

In my memory, I don’t remember a single birthday, Christmas or other occasion we did not.

It’s not even a matter of money. I like stationary and many many times my parents got me some funny or cute post-its, unique marker, a nice notebook etc etc.

So it’s not uncommon for me to get presents worth 10$ or less, and I’m fine with it, because I really just appreciate the thought.

Recently, things have changed a little in her family’s usual planning though.

This year, my family decided to go on the usual “family trip” a couple of months earlier due to scheduling conflicts with my job, my parents’ jobs and my brother’s college.

The family trip is basically two days one night trip to a nearby seaside city. The house is paid for because it’s a family’s house my uncles, cousins, grandparents etc also use.

So we really just paid for activities and travel, which my parents always cover and are happy to cover.

And frankly, I stopped having fun on these trips when I was around fourteen, so it’s not like I’m the one pressing to go.

The timing of this year’s trip, however, aligned with her birthday.

This year we happened to go on my birthday. The trip was nice as it always was, my parents or brother didn’t seem upset with me. Even after coming back, they seem pretty normal. However, they haven’t brought up having a gift for me.

I’m starting to think the trip was my gift, but I mean… we always do that, my parents are the ones who want to go, they also took my brother etc. I don’t know.

Again, I don’t mind not getting anything extremely costly or stuff, I would have even appreciated a gift shop souvenir. It’s so odd that they would forget, when my mother has not forgotten a single gift for anyone in 26 years I’ve been alive, so it seems deliberate.

I’d really like to know why, but I’d feel pretty entitled to just go up to them and basically demand it. So would I be wrong if I did?

WIBTA?

Honestly, this must have come as something of a shock to this woman, especially given gifts are always exchanged amongst her family.

If they had all communicated about not giving gifts then sure, but for this to come out of the blue with no explanation must leave her feeling very confused.

Let’s see what the Reddit community made of this.

This person encouraged her to ask without seeming demanding.

However, others thought she should just be grateful for the family trip.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who had to sprint to the bathroom the moment he got home, then emerged to find his partner upset he didn’t greet her properly.

Meanwhile, this Redditor encouraged her to bring it up to make sure everyone was on the same page.

Whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship or a family, clear communication is one of the most important things to ensure that big dramas and misunderstandings don’t happen. While it’s clear that this woman doesn’t want to make a big fuss out of the fact that no one got her a birthday gift, it has understandably left her feeling unsettled and like she’s simply been forgotten about. Given this is a family who clearly do routinely give gifts, it’s no wonder she’s been feeling confused about everything.

Asking for clarity should never be a problem – and if the family make out like she’s being demanding by asking to understand? Well, if that happens then they’re the problem. If a collective decision has been made that gifts weren’t going to be a thing any more, she deserved to be a part of that conversation too, especially given her birthday was coming up. Perhaps at 26 they consider her too old for gifts – maybe 25 was the cut-off – but she should have been told about this at least.