He Asked For A Raise To Cover Growing Personal Expenses, But His Daughter Thinks The Real Problem Is How He’s Managing His Money
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Family businesses become complicated when personal spending habits begin influencing company salaries and everyone else’s workload.
Should the highest-paid family member receive another raise when his financial struggles appear entirely self-created?
Instead of saving his six-figure income, this father funds lavish purchases while the younger generation works longer hours for considerably less.
Let’s see how it played out.
WIBTA for wanting to talk to my dad about money?
I (28F) work with my partner in our family business.
Family businesses can be great.
My great-grandfather started it, my grandfather and dad continued it, and now we’ve been running it for the past 5 years.
Thanks to better organization and hard work, we grew the company by about 150–200%.
My dad has stepped back a lot, while we handle almost everything day to day.
He has earned his high salary through years of work.
He still takes the largest salary (a comfortable six figures) while each of us earns less than half of that. I don’t mind that on principle, since it’s a family business and he’s contributed over the years.
But lately he’s been saying he wants to raise his salary again because he “can’t save” for retirement. We’re not even talking huge amounts, just modest retirement funds that the company would also contribute to.
Overspending is a big problem for lots of people.
The thing is, he does make enough. The problem is how much he spends.
He spoils my step-siblings with very expensive gifts (like a 300€ luxury advent calendar for my stepsister), and he supports my stepmom’s lifestyle.
She doesn’t work, doesn’t really take care of the kids, and spends huge amounts on shopping, hairdressers, clothes, etc.
Their relationship is basically a divorce without the paperwork, yet he still funds her habits.
It must be very fiscally irresponsible to go into the negative when he makes this much.
A few months ago his account was in the red, so I lent him €1000 to help him avoid overdraft fees, a few days later he spent €100 on a SheIn order. It left me feeling like he plays broke while actually just spending recklessly.
Meanwhile, my partner and I work 8 hours a day, 6 days a week, with minimal holidays, and we don’t have these money issues even though we earn less less then him.
Also we can’t afford to hire extra help for the workload.
If she is grateful for the company, she needs to do what is best for the company, which is not giving him a big raise.
I’m grateful for what my family built and I don’t want to take anything away from my dad.
But it’s getting harder to watch him drain resources instead of saving, especially when it directly impacts the business.
Would I be in the wrong if I sat down with him to talk about this?
WIBTA?
This will be an awkward conversation for sure, and he is likely going to get upset. That being said, it does need to be done.
Check out what the people in the comments have to say below.
I agree with this commenter.
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Trying to keep it focused on the business is a good idea.
This is a good question.
Here is someone who thinks they will need a new job.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mother who thinks it’s the school’s job to discipline her unruly child, not hers.
This commenter doesn’t think the conversation will go well.
This woman isn’t wrong for requesting a transparent conversation about compensation, retirement contributions, responsibilities, and the company’s ability to hire help.
Her father can spend his salary however he chooses, but the business shouldn’t continually absorb the consequences of that spending.
A raise won’t fix a budget with a luxury-advent-calendar-sized hole in it.
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