No one goes into a marriage expecting to end up with a divorce, but the reality is that’s what a good half of couples are going to face.

It’s particularly rough once kids are involved, but if you’re looking for signs that your children are resilient enough to handle it, this article might do the trick.

According to the Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale, divorce is the second most stressful life event, with only the death of a spouse rating higher.

As far as kids are concerned, psychologists say around a third of them will struggle with behavioral problems, academic challenges, mental health problems, and risky behavior when it comes to sexual behavior and substance abuse.

Reddit user stefanfection was really struggling while divorcing the mother of his children – but that’s when his daughter let in a little light.

“I went through a divorce recently and have been having a rough time. I woke up to this this morning, from my daughter. It also helps. I just gained custody of her.”

I went through a divorce recently and have been having a rough time. I woke up to this this morning, from my daughter. It also helps I just gained custody of her.
by u/stefanfection in MadeMeSmile

The letter reads:

“Hey dad, I know you are going through a hard time right now and I just want you to know that I will be here for you forever & always. I hope you become happy again because I would love to do a ton of fun things with you in the summer. I love you tons & just remember that…I will always be here for you.”

There were several messages of support in the comments, like from this person:

“She loves you more than words can express. You’ve done a fine job sir keep it up.”

Others, though, had been through their parents divorce and worried about the dynamic the letter seemed to suggest.

“Remember to tell her it is not her job to take care of you even as you appreciate just how much she loves you.”

This commenter reinforced the sentiment.

“As a child who lived with unhappy parents who let me become their emotional ‘caregiver’ (at the expense of my identity for a very long time), I found this pretty distressing to read. This seems sweet on the surface but letting a child feel responsible for a parent’s emotions is devastating to the child.”

Stefanfection promised he did his best to avoid that but says she’s an intuitive girl who can sense his feelings. He also says he and his children are all in family therapy in order to help them cope.

Clinical psychologist Patricia P. Martin says that’s a great first step.

“Therapy gives the children a neutral, supportive space to share the confusion, anger, sadness, frustrations they are feeling and to find constructive ways to deal with these emotions. I recommend all children of divorce have at least two or three sessions with a mental health professional as a means of screening for problems as well as providing supportive education.”

There’s a great chance your kids will adapt to their new reality just fine, but a little support never hurt anyone.

That goes for you, too.