Boy Obeys His Parents’ Orders To Stay In The Car, But His Desperate Solution To A Bathroom Emergency Leaves Everyone Plugging Their Noses
by Benjamin Cottrell
Kids who fear the consequences of their parents will often go to incredible lengths to avoid getting in trouble.
One such moment from this man’s childhood involved a hilarious misunderstanding involving a car, a paper bag, and an unforgettable scent.
Read on for the full story!
Things we obeyed as children we can laugh at now
Sometimes, as children, we found ourselves in a bathroom crisis.
This is my story of Malicious Compliance.
When I was 6 years old, I was with my parents when they parked in front of a store.
The parents laid out clear ground rules from the start.
They told me they were only going to be in there for a few minutes, and they wanted me to wait in the car.
They made it VERY CLEAR that I was to wait for them to come out and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES was I to leave the car and come into the store.
So I waited in the car, as I was told to do.
But then, certain circumstances made that difficult.
A few minutes later I had to use the bathroom REALLY bad. REALLY BAD.
I thought about going into the store, but I was worried about getting into trouble for leaving the car, so I contemplated what to do.
Then I saw a brown paper Zellers shopping bag on the floor.
He did what they had to do for relief.
Hallelujah!
I pulled down my drawers and deposited a HUGE Cleveland Steamer right into the brown paper bag.
Relief!
Relief was quickly replaced with panic.
But the satisfaction of relief quickly passed as I realized that now I have another problem.
What do I do with the bag of poo that is now in the car?
I knew if my parents found out that I did that, I would be in trouble.
He had to think fast.
So the solution my 6 year old brain came up with was to slide the bag under the front seat to hide it.
So that’s what I did, slid the bag with the fragrant log in it right under where my father would be sitting while he drove the car.
A few minutes later my parents return, with me sitting innocently like a little angel in the back seat.
My parents got into the car and told me they were proud of me for being a good little boy and doing as I was told.
But soon everything went to… well, you know.
Dad settles into his seat, starts up the car, then starts sniffing.
He sniffs some more and looks at my mother and says, “Carolyn, do you smell poo?”
“Yes Bobby I do!”, she replied.
At first they thought it was just him who smelled bad.
“For the love of Christ, get him in the tub as soon as we get home!” my father gasped.
So we get home and I am promptly put in the tub.
But the horrible stench remained next time they got in the car.
The next day, we get into the car to go somewhere.
My Father just gets settled into his seat, then looks at my mother and says, “Jesus Christ Carolyn! I thought you said you washed him yesterday!”
“Yes I did Bobby!”
“Well you didn’t do a very good job then, because he smells like a ripe ****house in a heat wave!”
“Shut up Bobby, I’ll wash him again when we get back home.”
The parents still can’t seem to figure out the source of the smell.
So we went about our business as the smell in the car was intense and unbearable. We had all four widows down, but the July heat kept things good and pungent.
We FINALLY get back home after being accompanied by a CONSTANT chorus of foul language coming from my Father.
Back into the tub I go.
So into the tub again, he went.
My Mother cleaned me extra good, and really scrubbed my bum. I leave the tub clean as a whistle, not a hint or a mere sniff of shit smell. Problem resolved.
The NEXT time we got in the car we were going to pick my grandmother up to take her somewhere.
My Father settles into his seat.
There goes the smell again.
Starts the car up. A few seconds later, he slams his fist down onto the dash, looks at my Mother, and roars, “I STILL SMELL POO! I STILL SMELL POO!!!!!!”
“Bobby! Calm down! I told you I washed him! AND, I checked him before we got into the car, and he did not smell like poo! I smell poo too, suffering Jesus, but I can tell you it IS NOT coming from him!”
“Then where’s it coming from, Carolyn?”
“I don’t know Bobby!”
They bring another unwilling victim into the smelly car.
We pick my Grandmother up. The smell in the car is PURE TORTURE!
I could tell my Grandmother was REALLY suffering as we MARINATED IN THE STENCH, but she did not want to be rude, so she suffered in silence with the rest of us.
Finally my Father comes right onto the brakes, pulls the car over, breaks the uncomfortable silence and screams, “I can’t take it anymore!”
He’s about to take matters into his own hands.
“THERE’S POO SOMEWHERE IN THIS CAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!”
“I KNOW IT, AND IF I HAVE TO TEAR THIS CAR COMPLETELY APART TO FIND IT, THAT’S WHAT I’LL DO!!!”
We all get out of the car and he starts sniffing around. He noticed the smell was stronger closer to the floor.
He’s getting warmer.
When I slid the bag of poo under the seat, I didn’t roll up the end of the bag, so one end of the bag was open.
My Father is sniffing around and feeling around everywhere.
He slides his hand under the seat on the passenger side and feels around. Nothing.
He slides his had under the seat on the drivers side and feels around……..Something.
Warmer…
Something soft and squishy.
As he was feeling around under the seat, he slid his hand right into the open side of the bag…….
Then an expression of PURE PANIC comes across his face as he recoils his hand in horror!
And, he’s found it.
He leapt out of the car, stood on the side of the road with traffic driving by, looks at his hand right in front of his face, POO all over his fingers!
After a VERY SOUND yelling at, I did indeed survive and live to tell this bathroom emergency story and laugh about it years later.
That’s the kind of story you never quite forget.
Did Reddit feel the same way?
His commitment to secrecy was admirable.
Kids are pros at maliciously complying.
This redditor argued he was only doing what he was told!
Many times, there’s a good excuse for breaking the rules.
Let’s hope the boy’s parents were a bit more lenient about bathroom needs from this point on.
When you have to go, you have to go.
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.
Categories: STORIES
Tags: · bathroom, Bathroom humor, family, gross, malicious compliance, picture, reddit, top
![envelope](https://twistedsifter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/envelope-80.jpg)
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.