Grief is a heavy weight, but this family seems more concerned with tradition than compassion.

After losing her wife, she thought she had her family’s support, but now they’re asking her to let go of memories that mean the most to her.

Read on for the full story.

AITA for refusing to go to my sister’s wedding after she disrespected my late wife and demanded a family heirloom?

I (32F) lost my wife, Lily (30F), two years ago in a drunk driving accident.

Losing her shattered my world, and I’ve been trying to pick up the pieces ever since.

Her family doesn’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to being supportive.

My family, though, has never really understood what I’ve been going through.

To be honest, they never fully accepted my marriage to Lily in the first place.

Although, her grandmother went out of her way to show her support in a heartfelt way.

When we got married, my grandma gave me a necklace that’s been passed down in our family for generations.

It’s a tradition that the women in the family get it when they marry, and it meant the world to me because it felt like one of the few times my marriage to Lily was actually recognized as real.

After her wife’s death, other people started eyeing the necklace that meant so much to her.

Since Lily passed, my sister Emma (28F), who’s always been the golden child, has been eyeing the necklace.

She’s getting married soon and recently mentioned how, now that I’m “not really married anymore,” I should pass it on to her.

She couldn’t believe they would ask her to give up something like that.

That was hard to hear, but what really broke me happened last week at a family dinner.

We were talking about her wedding, and she made a joke about setting me up with one of her fiancé Luke’s (35M) friends.

I felt uncomfortable, but tried to brush it off.

Their crassness continued.

Then she said, “At least Lily won’t be there to haunt you if you hook up with someone!”

I couldn’t believe she said that. I didn’t even know how to react—I just sat there.

She tried to call them out on it, but they wouldn’t hear it.

Later, when I told her how hurtful it was, she rolled her eyes and told me I was being “too sensitive,” that I needed to stop being “so depressing” and “lighten up.”

Then she brought up one of her bridesmaids, Sarah, who had a crush on me even when Lily was alive, and suggested I “have some fun” with her at the wedding.

As if my wife hadn’t mattered.

So she draws a line in the sand, which only made matters worse.

I told her there was no way I could come to the wedding if that’s how she feels about Lily and my grief.

Things escalated from there.

Emma accused me of being “dramatic” and said I was ruining her big day over “one little joke.”

As always, mom and dad sided with the golden child.

My parents took her side, saying I should just let it go and show up to support my sister.

They even mentioned again how I should give Emma the family necklace, saying that since I’m “not using it anymore,” it should go to her now.

The rest of the family started to pile on too.

Since then, I’ve been bombarded with calls from my parents, Emma, and even Luke.

They’ve all told me I’m selfish, that I need to “move on” and stop holding onto the past.

Luke even said I should be grateful my family didn’t disown me when I came out, as if I owe them something for barely tolerating me.

Their cruelty starts to weigh heavy on her shoulders.

Now, I’m questioning everything.

Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to go to her wedding after all this?

Part of me wonders if I should just suck it up and go, but another part of me can’t believe how little my family seems to care about Lily, or me, for that matter.

AITA for refusing to go to the wedding and keeping the family necklace, or should I just give in to keep the peace?

She’s caught between a tough choice of giving into familial pressure or staying true to her feelings.

What did Reddit think?

Even the worst families have some redeeming qualities, but it’s hard to find any with these people.

Unlike her family, this empathetic redditor gives the grieving woman permission to feel her emotions.

These people are totally dropping the ball on their familial duties.

This commenter doubts it’s a good idea to even attend the wedding at all.

After feeling outcast by her relationship, her grandmother’s gesture meant the world to her.

She’s not about to throw all that away just because of “tradition”.

Some things are just to precious to give away.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.