In this blended family, mental illness casts a long shadow.

One teen’s stepfather constantly trash talks her mentally ill father.

But when she gets diagnosed with her own mental health condition, she must navigate the treacherous waters of a family who begins to villainize both her and her beloved dad.

You’ll want to read on for this story.

AITA for “being totally unfair” to my mom’s husband’s family by not showing up for a family meal

My (16f) mom has been married to her husband for 7 years.

My dad has been out of my life for almost as many years.

But even before my mom and “Ted” got married, he wasn’t a big part of my life.

You see, my dad is mentally ill.

Her dad has gone through a tough time, but she still feels affection for him.

There’s a family history of it on his side of my family.

He’s got it bad and isn’t capable of being a good dad or really a reliable person.

The last I remember of him, he couldn’t really take care of himself.

BUT, and this is a big thing, I still love him and I have some good memories of him.

Her stepfather is a good enough guy too, or so she thought.

Ted, as a stepfather—who I call my mom’s husband—is deserving of better or not, depending on your view overall.

He provides for me, calls me his daughter, tries to spend time with me, offered to adopt me, and provide for me well into the future.

She’s not so much a fan of how her stepfather talks about her biological father.

I said no to the adoption and didn’t really let the incentive of being provided for long term sway me.

My reason for this is due to how often he talks trash about my dad.

My mom lets him, so I have issues with her too.

But the focus of my post is more about Ted and his extended family.

Ted always tries to make her biological dad out to be the bad guy.

Ted is always so fast to remind me that my dad chose illness over me.

That he has never paid child support and has a lot of child support debt to his name.

He discouraged me from looking at photos of my dad or his side of the family and would tell me he was a better choice for a dad, and that his family were a way better family.

Ted’s other family members pile on too.

Ted’s family also repeat this to me a lot.

I get reminded every time I see them that Ted stuck around, Ted stepped up, Ted isn’t some “crazy waste of life,” which is what they call my dad.

But the teen still feels connected to her biological dad, in more ways than one.

Last year, it was clear I had inherited the mental illness gene.

My mental illness is OCD. I got really bad because of it.

A part of me always knew I was different.

I had strict rules for stuff most people didn’t think twice about, like making my bed, writing, bathing, and showering.

I also freaked out a lot if I couldn’t make things fit okay in my school binder or books/video games on my shelf.

The parents took notice, but believed they could handle it better than her dad ever could.

My mom and Ted saw it too, but mom didn’t want to believe I could be ill, and Ted believed his influence could prevent it.

A crisis at the start of the year proved it all wrong, and I got diagnosed.

I spent some time doing inpatient because of how bad it got.

Then Ted’s family started talking about her the same way they talked about her dad.

When I got home, and Ted was alone with me or with me and my half-siblings, I’d hear his family talk about me in ways that made me so uncomfortable.

They said rejecting him made me sick because it pushed me more toward dad than Ted.

Ted’s parents wanted to have a big family dinner yesterday, and I was told repeatedly they wanted me there.

By them directly and by Ted and my mom.

So she started avoiding them, knowing she didn’t fit in there.

I chose not to go and said I could not get off my planner right now. Which is true.

But I just knew I couldn’t be around them.

Ted and her mother weren’t happy about this at all.

My mom and Ted weren’t happy, and they said I had no trouble going off my planner to see my grandparents (mom’s parents) or my three uncles and cousins.

They told me I was being totally unfair to Ted’s family by not showing up and treating them like they’re not family.

AITA?

How did she end up becoming the bad guy in all this?

Reddit is sure to have their opinions.

Why would anyone go to a dinner where they knew everyone there looked down on them?

This redditor suspects the family may have been planning to ambush the teen.

Ted needs to dramatically adjust his expectations when it comes to mental illness.

It’s clear to this commenter that Ted and his family are acting out of line and her mother needs to do something about it.

The weight of her stepfather’s expectations has become crushing.

As this teen is quickly learning, the bonds of family can sometimes feel more like shackles than support.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.