After a late-night phone call went south, this man’s relationship with his younger brother completely unraveled.

What started as a drunken rant about a careless employee turned into harsh insults and a full-on block across all communication.

Now, with his birthday approaching, his parents are urging him to “keep the peace” and apologize—even though he doesn’t think he did anything wrong.

Should he skip his own birthday celebration? Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITA if I tell my family I’m busy on my birthday

I 28m was recently called by my brother 22m, who we’ll call John. He often calls me when he is drunk (which he is every night) and confides in me for things that are bothering him.

I honestly don’t enjoy these conversations as sometimes he is just looking for a fight, and this was one of those times.

About a week prior I had forgotten Father’s Day (IK, I suck) which I made amends with my dad, calling him the day after, explaining the situation and going out and getting him a very thoughtful gift.

We then spend some time together and we moved on.

It was an honest mistake.

I legitimately forgot what day it was and was so swamped with homework and felt terrible for forgetting.

John knew this.

For context me and my dad have had a rocky relationship at best that I won’t go into. Suffice it to say he is apologetic, and I have forgiven him but did not want a relationship right away.

Now we are building one so I imagine he was worried I didn’t call on purpose, even though I’ve never done that before.

John asked for advice.

We moved on and he told me about an employee who had thrown away equipment required for fire safety (replacement filters, fire extinguisher tags, etc,) in the apartment building John managed instead of doing the fire inspection.

The employee got caught and John saved him from getting fired. Next month, same thing but for a different building and video evidence AGIAN.

John was very upset, saying he had a family and asking for my advice.

I told him you can give someone second chances but they have to take it, and the employee is the only one to blame. That he should not blame himself at all and if I were him I would be disappointed that the employee, after knowing the consequences and almost getting fired the first time, would do it again expecting not to get caught.

John really didn’t like his advice.

I then told him that the employee should have thought about his family before he put his job at risk, and reminded him that if they hadn’t caught it his residents would have been at risk. That they could have been injured or worse due to this employees repeat negligence.

He did not like this answer.

He then began insulting me, saying I was a bad person and he didn’t want to know me. Talking about how I was horrible and self centered when I suggested it was not his fault.

Oh, the DRAMA!

I tried to be patient as I knew he was drunk but he was not having it and hung up on me mid conversation.

I went to bed thinking what? But assumed that he was just drunk and was going to brush it off.

Turned out he was serious, blocked my number and refused to talk to me at family events.

What is there to apologize for?

My parents are asking me to keep the peace and apologize but I don’t think I did anything wrong.

My birthday is coming up and my grandpa always has a small celebration (we always eat at his house Sunday, but the Sunday near when you were born someone brings a cake) but honestly I don’t want to go and get lectured by my parents or be around John while he is acting like this.

WIBTA if I just told them I was busy and avoided it?

Reddit sided firmly with him, saying he’s not obligated to play peacemaker—especially when his brother was the one who crossed the line.

This person says NTA, but also not to take it so seriously.

This person has a suggestion on what to do next.

And this person explains how they’d handle the situation.

Skipping cake is better than swallowing someone else’s drama calories.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.