People say they care about respect until they are asked to do something about it.

So, what would you do if you saw someone being treated unfairly, but speaking up meant putting yourself in an uncomfortable position? Would you stay out of it to avoid drama? Or would you step in anyway?

In the following story, one flag football player thought asking for basic support was reasonable, but her teammates saw it very differently. Here’s what happened.

AITA for asking me teammates to tell their friends to be nicer?

I (F22) play flag football for Team F, the girls’ team, in a country with a very small football scene.

My friend Beck, who has 13 years of experience in American football, volunteered to coach boys’ Team F (for free) when they were newly formed, as they had no other coaches, even though he’s originally a player for Team C.

He stopped coaching them about a month before a match in which Team F played Team C.

Team F lost (they were new, and Team C is much more experienced), and afterward, some of the guys accused Beck of sharing plays and cheating, even though he never hid which team he was on, and they never asked.

Then, the messages started.

Then they started sending extremely racist and abusive messages about him in their group chat, forgetting he was still in it.

I was really upset, so I messaged my own team (the girls’ side of Team F) and asked that if they hear their friends saying racist or horrible things about him, they please shut it down.

I didn’t ask them to start drama. I just asked them to say something if they hear their friends say bad things about my friend Beck, because they all have close friends on team F besides me.

They told me it’s none of their business and that I was being insensitive for asking them to “put themselves in the line of fire,” and then they all kind of turned on me.

AITA?

Yikes! It’s easy to see why she asked them, but that was a pretty big ask.

Let’s check out what the folks over at Reddit think about all of this.

This person understands why they didn’t get involved.

Here’s a good suggestion.

Yet another person who understands why they refused.

This reader doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong… yet.

It’s a noble cause, but she should probably just let it go.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a brother who wanted to pass his sister’s artwork off as his own.