It’s no secret that being in a relationship can be a little testing of our other relationships.

It’s not that we don’t want to see our friends when we’re deeply in love. It’s more that our time is limited, because we’re now splitting it between work and necessary chores, seeing friends – and, importantly, spending time with a new partner. Most friends understand that, and if they’re in relationships of their own, it’s easy to slide into a comfortable couples’ friendship.

This doesn’t mean that we’re not still there for our friends when they need us, and in fact many of us will drop everything to support a friend who is truly in need. It is just an evolution of the friendship as we move into a new phase of our lives. One in which we’ll most likely side with our partner when things get complicated in life – which for most people, they do at one time or another.

But the boyfriend of the woman in this story doesn’t seem to have got the memo. His friend is going through some life drama, and has slotted himself easily into their lives and their home as he leans on the couple for support. But when one day the friend crosses everyone’s boundaries, the boyfriend’s reaction makes it quite clear where his loyalties lie – and his girlfriend is understandably upset.

Read on to find out why.

WIBTA for breaking up with my boyfriend after he defended his best friend?

I’m a 26-year-old woman, and I’ve been with my boyfriend (27, male) for 4 years. We are genuinely perfect for each other, perfectly compatible, very much in love.

My only problem since the start has been his best friend lets call him Josh (25, male).

Josh has always given me an odd vibe. He would keep picking “play fights” with me, try to make plans with me alone, and never take money from me for my share of any bill if we, say, went out as a group.

I didn’t pay much attention to this for a while though, because I just assumed he was friendly and trying to make me feel like a part of the group.

But then things with Josh took a turn for the worse.

Things went south when his girlfriend left him a few months ago. He was a nervous wreck and would visit me and my boyfriend a lot more than he used to.

One day, my boyfriend wasn’t home and Josh came drunk. He was in the living room waiting for my boyfriend.

I was cooking lunch when he came up behind me and started pressing up on me. I tried pushing him away and he started to scream and accuse me of being a tease.

He was groping and touching me, but he’s a lot stronger than me and I couldn’t push him off me.

Yikes. Read on to find out how this situation ended.

He left by the time my boyfriend got home – my boyfriend found me sitting on the floor, crying. I told him everything and he confronted Josh.

But later he defended him saying he was drunk and I should let it go. When I got mad at this, he said I was overreacting and that it’s not like he “assaulted” me or something.

I am disgusted by this. He did confront Josh, but it doesn’t sit right with me that he would defend him despite what Josh did to me.

Would I be wrong if I broke up with him for this.

WIBTA?

Her boyfriend is wrong. Josh did assault her.

Just because he confronted his friend, does not mean that the way he spoke to her afterwards was okay.

This is serious red flag material.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a woman who is ready to file for divorce after she found out her husband drained their savings to buy an old car.

Let’s see what the Reddit community made of this.

This person agreed that she needed to end the relationship pronto.

While others pointed out just how bad this could be if they stayed together.

Meanwhile, this Redditor explained that by putting his friend first, he was showing just the kind of boyfriend he was.

All too often, assault and harassment is passed off as ‘boys being boys’ or – even worse – that it is the girl’s fault because of what she was wearing, something she said, or simply just because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Let’s be absolutely clear here: that’s a toxic mentality that leads to women being really hurt and even blamed for their own assault.

Everyone – men and women – need to keep their hands to themselves, with clear consent given. And there’s one important thing to note about consent: it can be taken away as freely as it can be given. So if someone says ‘yes’ one time, it doesn’t mean that it is a ‘forever yes’. Just because she might’ve allowed a hug once, even leaned in for it, doesn’t give you permission to touch her again.

Because if you assault someone – regardless of if you think they’re ‘up for it’, regardless of if they’ve consented in the past, and regardless of if you are drunk or otherwise impaired – you are in the wrong. You are the assaulter. You are the criminal. Period. And this poor woman’s boyfriend really needs to get his head around that fact. Then, he needs to cut his ‘friend’ off immediately. Because right now, he’s a walking red flag – and he’s about to lose his girlfriend as a result. In fact, she might rightfully already be gone.