Tattoo Client Admits She’s Secretly Dating 2 Men, Then Her Artist Realizes One Of Them Is His Best Friend
Pexels/Reddit
Tattoo artists hear a lot. When you’re sitting with someone for hours while they permanently alter your body, apparently the natural next step is telling them every secret you’ve ever kept from another human being.
Usually, whatever gets confessed in the chair can stay there.
One tattoo artist found himself in a much trickier position after a client casually revealed that she was seeing two men at once. She’d started dating someone new while on a break from her longtime boyfriend, reconciled with the boyfriend and then simply…kept the other relationship going. Neither man knew about the other.
The artist advised her to come clean, finished the appointment and presumably expected never to be involved in this romantic mess again.
Two weeks later, one of his closest friends invited him to a gathering to meet his new girlfriend.
You can probably guess who walked in.
Suddenly, this wasn’t some stranger’s secret anymore. And given that his friend’s previous relationship had ended after almost the exact same betrayal, staying quiet felt nearly impossible.
So he didn’t.
AITA for telling my friend his new gf is still with her “ex”
I (27m) am a tattoo artist. I met my friend “James” (30m) as a client 3 years ago, and we became friends, I’d now consider him one of my closest friends.
Last month I tattooed “Alexis” (29f). During her appointment she told me that while on a break with her longtime boyfriend she’d started seeing a new guy. Then she and her boyfriend got back together, but she kept seeing the new guy. Neither of them knew about the other.
It’s common for clients to treat tattoo appointments like therapy, and I don’t mind. Many clients talk to me about personal issues. I told her she needed to be honest with both of them.
And now the convo is done…
Two weeks later James hosted a gathering and introduced me to his new girlfriend, “Allie.” It was Alexis. James had mentioned an Allie before, but I hadn’t realized it was a nickname for Alexis, (not her real name but a similar name/nickname situation) and she didn’t know I knew James.
When he introduced us she smiled and said, “Nice to meet you,” I was confused and caught off guard, so I didn’t bring up tattooing her recently.
Important context: James’s last relationship ended after his partner secretly got back with her ex.
Oh boy.
My first instinct was to tell James. My boyfriend agreed, but I felt conflicted because while tattoo artists aren’t legally bound to confidentiality, there is a strong expectation of trust.
I saw three possibilities if I didn’t tell James right away: 1. Allie eventually confessed and James learned I’d known all along. 2. Allie broke up with James without explaining why, and I had to either pretend I never knew or admit I did but kept quiet. 3. Allie never tells him and I have to decide later whether to say something.
None of those felt right.
Yep, something is off.
So I called James the next day and told him. He was devastated because it was the first real connection he’d made since his ex, but he thanked me and ended things before getting more invested.
That night Allie messaged me. She said she had planned to tell James and end things with the other guy, but wanted to do it compassionately and that I’d forced the conversation before she was ready.
She also said repeating something she’d told me in what she believed was a safe space was a betrayal of trust. I told her I was sorry for forcing her hand, but that James deserved to know. She never replied.
Woof.
The next morning I asked a coworker. She said I should have given Allie a few more days and that crossing professional boundaries for personal reasons was unethical. She also warned it could hurt my reputation if Allie retaliated.
Part of my decision was concern for James, but part was also selfish: I worried our friendship would be damaged if he later found out I’d known and said nothing. I’m still conflicted.
Any other choice wouldn’t have sat right with me, but I’m wondering if I handled it wrong.
Commenters were somewhat divided over the professional boundary, but many ultimately landed on NTA. A tattoo appointment may feel like a safe and confidential space, but a tattoo artist isn’t a therapist, attorney or doctor with the same formal obligation to protect everything a client reveals.
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
More importantly, Alexis unknowingly put him in an impossible position. Once he discovered that the man she was secretly dating was one of his closest friends, keeping her confidence meant actively withholding information that he knew would matter deeply to James.
Her claim that she planned to tell James also didn’t convince everyone. She’d already been seeing both men without their knowledge, and there was no guarantee that her eventual confession was actually coming. Giving her a few days to tell him herself might have been a reasonable alternative, but it also would have meant helping maintain the deception in the meantime.
There could absolutely be professional consequences if clients believe their personal conversations might leave the tattoo chair, so his coworker’s warning shouldn’t be dismissed.
But when professional discretion unexpectedly collided with loyalty to a close friend, he chose the person he actually had a relationship with. That’s a difficult decision—not necessarily the wrong one.
This person says tattoo artists do not equal doctors.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an employee who was denied a raise for “not being dedicated enough,” but then went on to discover what was really going on behind the scenes.
This person says the client was selfish.
And this person agrees…in the end, OP is NOT the AH.
What happens in the tattoo chair usually stays there—unless your secret boyfriend happens to be the artist’s best friend.
Enjoyed this story?
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
