Her Daughter’s Beloved Betta Fish Died — She Told Her the Truth. Her Husband Thinks She Should’ve Just Swapped It
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Losing a pet is hard at any age, but it can be especially difficult for a child who has grown really attached to them.
One mom found herself dealing with that when her daughter’s beloved betta fish died after several years.
Her husband thought the easiest thing to do would be to quietly replace it with one that looked the same. But the mom didn’t think that was the right way to handle it.
So, she told her daughter what happened and gave her the chance to say goodbye.
Now, her husband is upset and thinks she caused unnecessary heartbreak.
Read on for the full story.
AITA for not replacing my daughter’s fighter fish (beta)?
I (34F) have a daughter (9F). I will call her Sally.
When Sally turned 5, I got her a beta fish. We went out and bought all the supplies (10-gallon tank, some nice plants, a little castle hide).
She picked out a super pretty white and purpley one who she named Princess Ariel Bubble.
Over time, Sally grew very attached to the fish.
For the first few years, I basically solely cared for this fish, but when Sally was 6, I just started reminding her to feed the fish rather than doing it myself and just made sure it was actually being fed. We would clean and refresh the tank together.
Since Sally began caring for the fish, she has LOVED her fish dearly. She tells it about her day and will show it pictures she has drawn. It is very cute.
Well, a few days ago, after dropping Sally at school, I went into her room and saw Princess was floating at the top of her tank. I went downstairs to tell my husband (36M), and he told me I should go out and find a replacement fish who looks similar.
When Sally got home, she told her what happened.
I did not do this.
I think learning about grief is important for kids, and Sally deserves to mourn this fish. It was like a best friend for her. She has autism and has found it hard to make friends at school since she struggles with social interactions.
When Sally got home, I told her that sadly Princess had passed away, and we had a little burial in the backyard. Sally was crying all afternoon.
Unfortunately, her husband was not happy with her decision.
When my husband returned home from golf, he saw Sally was upset and asked her what was wrong. When she told him Princess Ariel Bubble was dead, he just looked at me with disappointment.
After Sally went to bed, my husband scolded me about telling her and said now we have an upset kid when she didn’t even have to know about it. He is very upset with me and has slept on the couch.
I have told Sally when she is ready, we can go pick out another fish together. My husband thinks I should’ve just replaced the fish to begin with, and now I’m feeling conflicted.
AITA?
Yikes. They both have good points.
Let’s see which way the folks over at Reddit think it should’ve gone.
According to this reader, she did the right thing.
Yet another person who thinks it was an appropriate lesson.
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You definitely cannot shield them forever.
That was the lazy way out.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who deliberately kisses his newborn nephew while sick with a cold, going directly against the parents’ explicit wishes.
Here’s a good way of looking at it.
She handled this the right way.
Her daughter loved that fish, so pretending nothing happened probably would’ve only delayed the hurt.
And as hard as it is to watch your child grieve, learning how to say goodbye is part of life.
For now, they should let her be sad and wait until she’s ready before talking about another fish.
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