When on a family vacation, it is important to make sure that everyone in the family is having a good time, not just the parents.

What would you do if you were on a family vacation with your husband’s family, and he kept going off with them, leaving your daughter behind with nothing to do?

That is what was happening in this story, so Mom tried to tell her husband that he needed to spend more time with his daughter, but he refused, saying that this was the only time he could see his family. Now she doesn’t know if she is being too demanding, or he is being a bad father.

Personally, I think there has to be a compromise here. He should be able to hang out with his family, but at the same time he should not be neglecting his daughter. Read through the full story below and see what you think they should do.

AITA for asking husband to hang with daughter instead of family during annual vacation?

Every year we go on vacation with husband’s family.

This sounds like a fun vacation.

It’s the only time of year he sees his family. His family isn’t really close and this vacation is the only contact they have most of the year aside from a call on their birthdays.

Everyone usually stays in their own place, but we will do activities during the day together and rotate houses. This year my husband can only stay half the week due to work obligation.

What a horrible thing to go through.

I am trying to stay unbiased here but his family kind of sucks in general and we’ve had a very trying year where they have not been very supportive.

Our older son has been struggling hard this year with his mental health and spent roughly 70% of the past year either in an inpatient hospital or in some sort of recovery care.

He was eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of 18. It’s been extremely stressful on all 4 of us (husband, me, son, daughter aged 8).

Why can’t the daughter come with him?

I did not want to come on this vacation because his family are kind of judgmental jerks and my emotional capacity a pretty limited right now but I sucked it up because it’s important to him.

Back to situation at hand – he keeps ditching daughter to hang out with his family. She is the only child on the vacation and the adults pretty much ignore her.

Things just keep getting worse

Someone might play a game with her for 10 minutes or ask her questions but that is about the extent of their interaction with her. She also isn’t the type of kid to sit quietly while the adults talk. His family is the type that believes children should be seen and now heard.

I also forgot to mention, I am in a cast. I fell down a flight of stairs and broke my ankle about 3 weeks ago so I can’t go in the pool or to the beach. It’s too hard on crutches, so she has to rely on husband to take her.

What a miserable vacation for her.

She will ask for an activity and he will say “well I am going to do some adult activity with my family, but I will do that when you get back.”

So, she’s spent maybe 8 hours of the entire vacation doing fun stuff and the rest waiting for him to come back from hanging with his family to take her to the pool or the beach.

At least he is still doing things with his daughter.

I sat him down today and said hey you have to interact with her more. Have your family come talk while you’re in the pool with her or whatever.

His response was he only sees his family once a year and she can deal for 4 days to not get his full attention and wait. He will do her chosen activities, but after he spends time with his family.

There is surely a compromise here that lets him hang out with his family and his daughter still have fun. Finding it might be tricky, though.

This is her vacation too. She’s had a really rough year and a lot of loss. This bonding time with him is important.

I said he needs to find a way to entertain her and hang out with his family. He basically said no and he will continue ditching her for family.

AITA?

He should definitely be making his daughter a priority and ensuring she is having a good time. At the same time, he should also be able to hang out with his family.

Let’s see if the people in the comments have any suggestions that might help.

It seems like there should be something the daughter can do for fun.

This commenter makes a good point.

Here is someone who says he doesn’t need to spend all his time with his daughter.

Mom and daughter could have stayed home.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who held up her end of a college savings bargain only to be ripped off by her scheming older sibling.

This person says that they can’t imagine ditching their child.

He should be trying to include his daughter as much as possible, but it is ok for him to hang out with his family, too. It doesn’t have to be all one or the other.

Also, just because Mom can’t swim right now doesn’t mean she can’t do other things with her daughter.