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When you’re having a baby, you’ll suddenly find out what a lot of opinions other people have. Suddenly folk you barely even know are whipping out their birth stories, or else pressuring them to tell you all the weird symptoms you’re having, or even trying to touch your stomach. It’s weird, it’s invasive, and sometimes even just the unsolicited advice can become quite overwhelming.

But let’s be real, this is you pregnancy. It’s your birth, and it’s your baby. All that to say, when it comes to matters surrounding your body and your baby, it is your voice (and that of your partner) that matters.

So when the woman in this story discussed the names they were planning to use for their daughter, she never expected it to end in so much drama. But then, with her mother-in-law involved, you have to wonder how she anticipated anything less.

Read on to find out more.

WIBTA for giving my daughter a middle name my mother-in-law despises?

So for context, I despise my mother-in-law. I have gone no contact with her.

She is a textbook narcissist who can do no wrong and it is somehow everyone else’s fault for her wrong doings.

My husband understands this, and has had a very strained relationship with his mother.

But this family does have its good folk.

Now, my husband’s aunt (father-in-law’s sister) is a saint. She can still be difficult, but she means well and she genuinely loves everyone around her and wants them to succeed.

My husband has always been close with his aunt and she has been more of a mother to him than his own mom.

And when I came along, because my mom passed away when I was younger, she became the mother figure I needed while navigating life as an adult.

Now, they’ve decided they want to honour this beloved aunt.

I am pregnant with a little girl, and as tribute to my husband’s aunt, we have decided to make our daughter’s middle name my “aunt-in-law’s” name.

This has erupted in a full blown nuclear family melt down.

My mother-in-law is accusing that we did this on purpose to once again exclude her from the family.

A lot of other family members have encouraged us to reconsider the name.

Read on to find out how this couple is feeling about all the drama.

But why should we not honour the woman who has shaped us into being the people we are today?

She is also quite elderly and we don’t think she will see much of her great niece, so it is also getting out of hand with the division we have caused.

Part of me thinks we should just change the name, but I think it is unfair for us to accommodate a fifty-something year old woman who can regulate her own emotions.

Would I be the bad guy if I decided to keep the middle name as it is – or for sake of everyone’s peace, should I change it?

WIBTA?

Good lord, this is a middle name, the kid won’t even be known by that name.

Mother-in-law is clearly just jealous, and it’s not a good look.

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They should be able to name their kid whatever they want, the other folk don’t get any say whatsoever.

Let’s see what folk on Reddit had to say about this.

This person encouraged them to ignore the noise.

While others told them to think of what it would signal if they relented.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a dad who can’t understand why his son can sleep in now that he’s not commuting to the office.

Meanwhile, this Redditor put things quite simply.

We’re talking of a little girl’s middle name, and the fact that the aunt-in-law absolutely deserves to be honoured. Because let’s be honest, it’s not that the mother-in-law doesn’t like the name or doesn’t think it’s right for a child or something. It’s simply that she’s jealous that her grandchild will be named after her sister-in-law, instead of being named after her. And again, let’s repeat, this is merely a middle name, something that’s generally only brought out when filling out random forms and legal documentation.

But the biggest problem here is that the rest of the family is pandering to this controlling, narcissistic mom, and even after the couple have gone low to no contact with the woman, she’s still finding ways to exert her pressure onto them. Because let’s be honest, without the mother-in-law kicking up a fuss, no one would have any problem with the name whatsoever.

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Author

Kyra Piperides

Kyra Piperides, PhD | Contributing Science Writer

Dr. Kyra Piperides is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter, specializing in Science & Discovery. Holding a PhD in English with a dedicated focus on the intersections of science, politics, and literature, she brings over 12 years of professional writing and editorial expertise to her reporting.

Kyra possesses a highly authoritative background in academic publishing, having served as the editor of an academic journal for three years. She is also the published author of two books and numerous research-driven articles. At TwistedSifter, she leverages her rigorous academic background to translate complex scientific concepts, global tech innovations, and environmental breakthroughs into highly engaging, accessible narratives for a mainstream audience.

Based in the UK, Kyra is an avid backpacker who spends her free time immersing herself in different cultures across distant shores—a passion that brings a rich, global perspective to her writing about Earth and nature.

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