If my true crime obsession has taught me anything, it’s that absolutely everyone has secrets.

Not only that, but they don’t even have to be especially big ones to get you killed.

These 16 people are holding onto secrets they feel could ruin their lives if they got out – but the anonymous internet is safe.

 

16. Not so long a memory.

When I was 11, a friend of mine tried to steal a candy bar from a store and we got caught. We were told that we were banned for life.

I went back in 40 years later and walked around like a boss.

15. Money is so stressful.

I have been on the verge of losing my job for several months now.

In the meantime, I no longer have any doubts at all that I will soon be laid off and that I am very likely to be threatened with homelessness.

14. When you need stuff, you need stuff.

I nearly s*%t my pants in a Walmart but didn’t quite make it. It landed in front of the toilet as I squatted midair. I ended up getting some on my pants and shoes.

An employee walked in mid-s*%t and commented that the smell was the worst they ever smelled and swore when he saw the s*%t droplets on the ground.

I cleaned up as best as I could, but instead of leaving immediately, I kept on shopping.

13. Our collective secret.

Not a secret but if a list of every intrusive thought I’ve ever had comes out im screwed.

12. I am appalled.

I am a truck driver. One time I had to s*%t super bad… drank so much the night before.

Pulled into a Walmart parking lot, s*%t my pants in the truck. Waddled my way into Walmart with liquid s*%t running down my legs. Went to men’s apparel, grabbed a pair of pants.

Took said pants into the restroom, clean up my legs and a$$, left my s*%t stained underwear and pants in the stall, then walked out of the Walmart with stolen pants.

Prolly the worst thing I have ever done….

11. He probably knows.

I skipped my brothers wedding. Told him I had strep throat.

I just hated his now wife.

10. Don’t invalidate me.

I have schizoaffective disorder. Most people do not know outside of a few close friends. I don’t tell people because they will use it as a reason to invalidate me. Even when I’ve opened up on here outside of the SZA sub, people have tried to infantilize me or have offensively tried to tell me what’s best for me or school me about my disorder as though I am not living with it or as if I am not a functioning adult.

The world likes to pretend it’s becoming all woke about mental health, but it’s not. So I don’t tell people. If I were open about it, I think it would prevent me from getting jobs or making friends, and I think it would make people suddenly view me as incapable.

As though they know best.

Because people are f**king stupid. And watch things like “A Beautiful Mind” and suddenly believe they know everything.

9. What about valuing a better life, though?

Not ruining it but my parents would be disappointed in me.

I turned down a very lucrative job 3 years ago because it was in a city I didn’t have the best memories of. I would’ve earned like 2 – 3 times I earn right now. My parents always encouraged me to strive for better paying jobs so I could be comfortable.

8. He got his revenge.

I pissed in the owner of the company’s office in the corner like 3 times. The company folded and got sold but was the worst cyber security company to ever work for.

The CEO was just an angry fat rich kid. F**k him.

7. They still don’t know.

I don’t know about “ruin my life” but as a rule I’m not very open with people about my mental health issues. I had something of a paranoid episode about a year and a half ago which couldn’t really be kept to myself, but pretty soon after I fell out of contact with all of the people who saw me like that, as well as anyone who might have been told about it second hand.

I still don’t know how I left things with that group of people honestly, it was a bit of a haze from my point of view. All I know is that I haven’t reached out to them, nor have they reached out to me. I just took it as a clean break and tried to move on.

6. Don’t be afraid.

I put a little more than double the amount of salt called for in recipes when I cook for people or bring potluck. I never have to bring home leftovers, the dishes are scraped clean.

My super secret food hack is salt.

It won’t ruin my life but I might get the stink eye from family with blood pressure problems and my super health conscious friends.

5. Happens to the best of us.

One time I accidentally stole a pack of balloons from Walmart.

I put it in my pocket & was gonna take it out to pay for it but I forgot & walked out with it

4. We all have that one word.

Wouldn’t ruin my life but it would certainly embarrass me if anyone found out: the amount of times I’ve looked up how to spell broccoli as an adult.

3. Please tell us more.

I’ve been making 3D NSFW content for years and during peak pandemic it became my main income. Now it’s both my wife’s and my full time job.

Proud of the work, but it would ruin our relationships to family and friends if it got out.

2. Teachers are the best.

In 8th grade, we were taking tests and, as someone who’s both shy and has selective mutism, I’ve never been able to raise my hand or anything.

Anyway, I had to pee. Badly.

There was maybe 20 minutes left before the bell would ring, and I figured I could make it.

I couldn’t.

It just started and I could NOT stop, and I sat there, sitting in my own pee, which was also running down my legs. I just sat there until the bell rang, and people left (this one girl I didn’t know stood at the door trying to get me to leave, and I think she knew what I did and was trying to make fun of me).

Anyway once everyone was out, my teacher asked what was wrong and I started to cry and told her I “had an accident” and she just said to wait there, and she got two other teachers and they literally guarded me in the hallway going to the office so no one would see my wet jeans. They gave me a change of pants and then I went home.

Shoutout to those teachers honestly, because I’m sure there are teachers out there that would just send you to the office and not guard you to save you from immense embarrassment and bullying.

1. Turned the corner.

I’ve had more than my fair share of mental health struggles. Went for two years of inpatient therapy/treatment starting when I was 12 years old and also had ECT when I was in my 20s.

Thankfully I’ve turned the corner and have an incredibly fulfilling life now but I have ZERO idea how my current friends would react if they knew about the “old” version of me.

 

I don’t think I could handle holding onto these.

People are so much stronger than they give themselves credit for.