People Talk About What Their Parents Taught Them They That They Later Realize Was Messed Up
by Matthew Gilligan
Growing up is strange…
Most kids think their parents have all the answers and whatever they say is TRUTH.
And then you get a little bit older and you think…hmmm…maybe that isn’t right…
It’s a weird phenomenon, but we all go through it at some point.
Let’s hear from folks who talked about things their parents taught them that they later realized were weird.
A home remedy.
“My mom taught me that when you have bug bites, you should scratch them until they bleed, and then rub salt on them to make them stop itching.
It wasn’t until I was 23 and passed that “home remedy” on to a friend and they immediately told me how masochistic it was that I realized something was weird about it.”
Wow.
“Upon hearing stories of my childhood my husband had to break it to me that it was not in fact normal for moms to share their anti-psychotic meds (or “chill pills”, as she would call them) with their young children.”
Non-stop work.
“My dad always told me ‘work will set you free’. Do you chores, work will set you free, do your homework because work will set you free.
This went on for about a decade until I came back from history at school and asked him why it was on the entrance to Auschwitz.”
Just ignore it.
“”Only TV families resolve their problems and apologize after a big fight.
Real families just act like it never happened.”
Ghost them!
“Anytime I felt hurt by a conflict with a friend, my parents would tell me to never talk to them again because they aren’t real friends anyway.
I ghosted all of my best friends thinking it was the right thing to do.
Now, I know that real friends talk things out and it makes the friendships even stronger. A very painful realization. I never even considered my parents could have been wrong.”
Always worried.
“To be in constant survival mode. Like as in always worrying about the end of the world.
Why? Why am I constantly as a child looking over my back in fear of what I will offer to a group if “the apocalypse happens”.
Weird stuff. I thought I was savvy in “bunker mode” but really it’s trauma inducing.”
Kind of hilarious.
“My parents told me that I had a limited number of words and when I got to that limit I would d**.
I guess it was an easy way to make me shut up.”
Eat the pain away.
“To eat when I was sad or upset.
It’s easier and faster to tell a kid to go eat something as a distraction than it is to sit down and deal with it – especially if said kid is upset a lot due to living in ab**ive environments, getting b**lied at school, etc.
It definitely really f**ked up my relationship with food, leading to emotional eating, overweight turning into obesity, even more bullying, disordered eating and other mental health issues.
I realized probably 15 years ago that this was an issue/the cause of it but even though I know that, it’s still something I’m working on unlearning.”
Now you know.
“Apparently healthy conflict resolution doesn’t involve complete avoidance in the form of locking yourself in the bedroom for days on end.”
Scary.
“”If someone ever touches you hit them back and don’t stop hitting until they stop moving.”
My dad who is facing his third attempted m**der charge.”
Learning to lie.
“How to lie or avoid situations where truthful responses would get me in trouble.
Anytime I spoke up about anything really I’d be ridiculed and put down by my mother so I stopped talking.
If I told her something good happened at school she’d ask why I was still getting such bad grades.”
That’s awful.
“That every interaction with other people is transactional in some way.
Nobody ever wants to be around you just because they like you.”
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