As a person who has been pregnant and has given birth, I can tell you it’s more traumatic than anyone could really understand unless they have been through it firsthand.

That goes, I think, for most spouses who really aren’t able to fully grasp what’s going on in a woman’s body and mind in those first weeks postpartum.

This woman is from a culture where women are encouraged to spend at least a month recovering, with help from her family and spouse to truly be able to rest and facilitate new motherhood.

So I (30f) is giving birth soon and we have thing in my region called zuo yue zu which is basically post pregnancy recovery. What we do is to stay in bed and try to recover the physical and mental toll pregnancy did on our body.

to clarify when I say confinement i don’t mean actually just staying on the bed of course I can move around and yoga is probably going to be in my routine. But confinement as in I avoid going out, i avoid doing strenuous activity and to rest more. And yes per my doctor’s recommendations, she wants me to rest for at least a month…

She wants to do the same, even though she lives in America now with an American husband, but her husband isn’t sure it’s necessary.

So I’ve moved to my husband’s country and it’s not a widely done thing here apparently and I’ve already take 2 months off from work.

Ive talked to my husband about this but he thinks it’s very unnecessary, especially since I need someone to take care of me and the child during the period.

I tried talking about it before but it was shut down and i thought it was fine and I could go without one. but my pregnancy wasn’t smooth after 6th month mark and instead of natural birth we are now going c section and Alot of stuff happened especially within the last few week so now I’m pretty adamant about getting this one extra month of rest.

The only issue she sees is that it could be hard for her parents to stay long enough to help as much as she would like.

So here’s why I think is feasible

We make really good money so it’s not going to make a big dent on our financial account

I can just have my parents take care of me

My company has really good employee benefits so even if i take that extra month off it will still be under parental leave.

My states have parental leave for guys too so my husband can also stay home to spend more time with our daughter and me.

But my husband was really against it and i do want to acknowledge it might be very troublesome to extend my parents visa.

Also, he got on her account and added to the post with this:

Hi husband here. Would like to say this has open up my viewpoint. Was fed with a very skewed version of childbirth. We will be keeping discussions private from here. Thank you for the inputs.

Because he is so resistant she’s starting to think that she’s asking for something that’s way out of line, but is she?

So would I be the asshole if i bring up this topic again? His white American with Irish descent if that matters.

Reddit is weighing in!

The top comment says that people who aren’t giving birth really shouldn’t get so much of a say.

No one really liked the way the husband jumped on OP’s post.

Like, they really didn’t like it.

Other people were more even-handed in their assessment.

This person says the relationship is going to have issues if he can’t learn to respect her culture.

It looks like she did get her way.

Update: I’m doing the confinement! My parents will come over but will be living in hotel until the 3rd week after my delivery since my husband will be overseas. I appreciate all your comments and concerns. My parents will be meeting their grandkiddos🤣

Also for clarification my parents aren’t here yet. I meant extend visa as in the usual visa allow 30 days we are trying to extend it to those short term stay visa

I think we still have a reason to be concerned, but apparently all is well for now.

Here’s hoping the delivery and confinement went well!