May 30, 2023 at 11:55 pm

Your Username Is What Awaits for You When You Wake up the Next Day. How Bad Is It? People Responded.

by Matthew Gilligan

I’ve seen a lot of AskReddit articles in my life, but I can’t say I’ve ever seen anything quite like this one before…

And that means that it’s gonna be a whole lot of fun!

Here’s how it works: your Reddit username is what awaits you when you wake up the next day…so how bad will it be fort you?

Let’s get started!

Look out below!

“ButAtLeastImGodzilla:

Assuming I magically don’t crush my apartme

nt or any of my neighbors? Probably not the greatest day. I don’t want to deal with reporters or be on the news without preparation, I want to go look for cool bones in the ocean.”

Nailed it!

“ElmerTheAmish:

At 4:30 in the morning, I’m milkin’ cows

Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows.

And I’ll be bored to tears; we haven’t even paid a phone bill in 300 years.

No phone, no lights, no motorcar.

Not a single luxury.

Like Robinson Crusoe.

It’s as primitive as can be.”

This is weird…

“97ratsinatrenchcoat:

One very strange looking gentleman in a trenchcoat.”

Just like Nostradamus.

“Prophecy_Foretold:

I knew this day would come.”

Please be my friend.

“mostly-Coffee:

I gotcha for a refill, mate.”

Doesn’t sound like fun for you.

“kickmyd**k2times:

I h**e this game.”

Very well…

“ThunderousFlatulence:

It sounds like I won’t need to set an alarm tomorrow morning…”

I’m in!

“QuesoFresco420:

S**t, come on over to my place bro.

We’ll have a party.”

The struggle is real.

“cryingfortacos:

Ugh! I’m going to be struggling. 😭🌮😭🌮”

Sounds like a boxer’s name.

“PotatoesMcLaughlin:

Love me some taters.”

Those things are dangerous!

“bluerazorscooter:

R.I.P. my ankles.”

Okay!

“DolphinRider123:

A man riding on a dolphin huh?

Alright then!”

Could go either way…

“luminous_sludge:

I… don’t know. That depends on what the sludge is and why it is luminous. Is it bioluminescence? Is the bacteria safe?

Is it just glow in the dark slime? I’d love some glow in the dark slime.”

What a fiend.

“fiendishrabbit”

Well. I’m d**d. Because that’s the most foul, cruel and bad-tempered rodent you’d ever set eyes on (technically not a rodent).

It’s got a vicious streak a mile wide, it’s a killer.

It’s got huge sharp [gesture]

It can leap like [gesture]

Look at the BONES!”

This escalated quickly.

“BloodforKhorne”

LET’S F**KING GO!

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

MAY THE FALSE FATHER UPON HIS THRONE OF FANCIFUL METALS ROT BEYOND REDEMPTION!

HIS LIES WILL CONSUME HIS FETERED AND DESSICATED CORPSE TO FINALLY BRING ABOUT THE DECEDENT CORRUPTION OF TERRA!”

Bam!

“spicy_asbestos:

If you or your loved ones has been diagnosed with mesothelioma, you may be entitled to compensation.”

Might as well give it a shot.

“Drinkable_Pig:

Bacon flavored smoothie.

Not good for my arteries but I’ll take it.”

twistedsifter on facebook Your Username Is What Awaits for You When You Wake up the Next Day. How Bad Is It? People Responded.