When we’re young, human beings tend to think that if they could choose whether or not to be attractive, they would definitely opt in. Prettiness/Handsomeness is a type of currency and has been proven to give people a natural advantage pretty much everywhere.

That said, there are always downsides to every upside, and you can never know what it’s like living as someone else unless they tell you.

These pretty people have some complaints to lodge, so take a look.

That is assault.

Being groped, grabbed, etc. when you’re out just trying to have fun with your friends.

I literally had a guy come up behind me at a urinal, reach around and grab my d*%k .

That’s what depression is.

I’ve been told “you won the genetic lottery. What do you have to be depressed about? ”

Mf that’s what depression is. It’s not about s*%t.

Complete and total.

Complete and total objectification.

It leaves you feeling as if you are never seen or even appreciated for who you are as a person, and is also why many attractive people struggle mentally.

That’s not how this works.

I’m an autistic woman but, according to everyone else I can’t be cuz I don’t “look” autistic.

As if autistic people can’t be pretty lol.

Pros and cons.

Background: I was never unattractive, but three years or so ago I lost 45 pounds (not on purpose– horrible depressive episode) and that pushed me a lot closer to society’s beauty standard.

It’s also important to note that for women (and men too but to a lesser extent) beauty is social capital, ie beauty = power. People were never rude or anything before, but now I’m treated with a lot more deference. My life is genuinely easier. Like, if my bus pass is ever empty, the bus driver will without fail just let me on without paying. Last summer I was struggling to carry a propane tank home and this guy asked if I needed help and proceeded to carry it for me the entire way back.

The point I’m trying to make is that once you have that power, the thought of losing it becomes scary. It’s fucked up, but I’m afraid to gain weight to the point where I am resistant to quitting vaping because I know it’s an appetite suppressant. This is something that will have actual consequences on my long-term health.

There are a lot of things I’ve read in this thread that I relate to (ie people equate being nice with being flirty) but this aspect is the one that has probably taken up the most rent in my mind.

I’m still depressed as hell lol but to say that the cons of being attractive outweigh the benefits is just patently false.

Ulterior motives.

people want to be friends for nefarious or superficial reasons vs actually wanting to be your friend

I hate it because I like being friends with guys. But eventually they all try to turn it into something sexual.

It ruin friendships for me, because I no longer know if someone wants to talk to me because they like ME or just my face 🙁

Too many assumptions.

People immediately assume I’ll be full of myself. When I was single, the amount of girls that “weren’t sure how to feel about me” because they assumed me being good-looking meant I’d use them for sex. Complete opposite of who I am, but I guess enough attractive assholes makes you suspicious of the bunch. I didn’t even kiss my now fiance for the first time without asking permission. Add to that, I’ve had long relationships end and been told “I only stuck around that long because you’re attractive, and it made me feel better about myself.” She was convinced the entire relationship that I’d wake up one day and want someone she deemed more attractive than her and cheat.

In general, people will assume that me being an attractive guy means I’ll be an asshole. I’ve heard “When I first met you, I thought you’d be an (insert asshole, fuck boy, dick, etc.).” It kind of sucks having people assume I’m a bad person off nothing more than my looks.

Or both.

People think you’re dumb. Or just assume you are not a nice person automatically.

It seems like some people think people are like characters in a video game, where everyone is given the same number of points to distribute between certain attributes. The reality is that some people can be attractive, smart, incredibly nice, and have great personalities. And the opposite can be true, too: ugly people can be dumb, mean, and have terrible personalities.

That’s what bugged me about that movie Shallow Hal, although it may be taking a silly movie too seriously. But in that movie, by default, every ugly person was beautiful inside and every beautiful person was ugly inside. Which just isn’t true.

It feels off.

I don’t know how to act. This problem is probably more uniquely mine though.

I used to be far less attractive. I was overweight, had acne, and didn’t understand men’s clothes, hair, etc. Circumstances caused all of this to rapidly and dramatically change a few years ago. I lost 50 pounds and cleaned up.

With my dramatic change in appearance came a dramatic change in the way people respond to me. I’m not sure if I can truly describe the change itself in a way anyone would understand, but in a very general sense, I find people are more polarized about me.

Whereas I was once universally nondescript, approachable, and insignificant, people now seem intimidated and don more of a façade when faced with me. This can translate to kissing my butt, or staring at me, or avoiding staring at me — or a myriad of other odd behaviors that I’m just completely unaccustomed to.

It feels off. I didn’t grow up looking like this, so I don’t have the confidence to match it. That might have made this something I had the training to appreciate and utilize for my benefit.

I’m an introvert and a tech geek, but now even introverts don’t feel they identify with me. I’m stuck not fitting anywhere. And now I can’t wait to die.

Some can’t get past it.

I’m a muscular guy with the jaw line and short beard. Several of my fiancés friends over the years have met me, and no matter how I act, they assume I’m just some “dumb meathead jock”.

That’s an actual quote from several seperate occasions (not in front of me, but she tells me what they said). Some of them come around to realize that I’m a nerdy nice guy, but some just can’t get past the appearance.

No game.

Being intimidating to the opposite sex without even knowing it because you’re wrapped up in your own insecurities.

I got no game.

A weird amount of attention.

A guy here. The weird amount of attention I get from older women. My wife being jealous of girls flirting with me when I don’t even notice it.

Smoke and mirrors.

You think the world is a certain way. But it’s only because you’re attractive.

I lost a lot of weight at one time, becoming more attractive, and EVERYONE treated me more kindly. It was disgusting.

Ominous.

That it won’t last forever.

Pretty privilege.

You’re never sure if people like you because of how you look and they won’t just ditch you as you get older or if you put on weight or cut your hair etc… pretty privilege does exist, I’m not under any illusions, but not to know where you stand in any other aspect is scary

 

Honestly, some of these sound pretty gross.

This is probably why most middle-aged people would opt for “not ugly” as opposed to “attractive” if they would choose.