Family dynamics can be tricky. This is true in the best of times, but when the whole family refuses to realize that every last one of the “kids” is now an adult with their own autonomous needs, things can get ugly fast.

OP is the youngest and is currently single and childless. He often gets stuck helping with his nephews, who are young triplets, because his sister is overwhelmed. This caused him to move out of his parents house.

I 23m was repeatedly stuck playing the part of helper and babysitter on family outings. I had to move out of my parents’ house because I kept being forced to help watch my three nephews.

Last year his parents paid for his portion of the family vacation and drove him there in their car, so apparently they felt justified in making him share a room with the children and going along with all of the kid-friendly itineraries, to the point where he only got to do one thing he chose.

Last year we took a family vacation in summer to the coast. I rode along with my parents, and they paid for my hotel room. Only, I had to share that room with three rowdy boys because my sister and her husband wanted a room to themselves.

I was promised time to do my own things on the vacation. But instead I ended up having to help with these kids.

I complained to everyone about it, and was reminded I was there for free. And then we pretty much just did only one thing I wanted to do. Which was tour an art gallery. I like doing this whenever I’m at the coast. But the kids find it boring.

So, this year he decided to go on the vacation but to pay his own way, rent his own hotel room, etc, so that he could actually have a vacation as well.

This year my parents have a beach trip planned for June. And they assumed I’d be riding along the same way as last year. But I refused. I said I’d be driving myself, and paying for my own hotel stay to have my own room. My parents were shocked, and tried to remind me of the cost.

I said it was no worry. I’ve got a good job and a decent running car. I can more than afford it. That’s when the “Buts” started.

I stated the previously listed things as why I’ll be driving myself and paying for myself. I want to be able to enjoy this vacation as an adult, and not be treated like a child like last year.

His sister freaked out, saying that his wanting his own space would basically ruin the vacation for her. OP said that’s not his problem and that he is an adult who would also prefer to enjoy the trip.

My parents told my sister, and she called to blow up at me that I’ll be ruining the vacation if I’m off doing my own thing while she has to wrangle her three boys. I ended up yelling at her that last year all she did was rope me into her mess. I didn’t really get to do much of anything I wanted to do. And I was treated like the bad guy for wanting to just go to an art gallery. I’m a grown man. I deserve my own vacation too.

Now my sister is not speaking to me, and my parents are still trying to convince me to just ride with them to keep the peace. I’m still refusing. But the pressure is getting to me. AITA for not giving in? I know they’ll have a pretty hard time when they won’t have another person there to help.

She called their parents to get them involved after seeing his post on Reddit.

It’s barely been an hour since I posted. But my sister is apparently a reddit lurker in the mornings, and she saw my post. Not only is she furious with me. But she’s also upset no one in the comments is siding with her.

To make it short, she went on a big rant about how it’s so hard to be a parent to triplets. And the least I could do is help because I’m young and single, and she needs a break.

I stood my ground on my decision, and now she’s calling our parents to get them involved. I’m expecting a call from them any minute.

His parents ended up canceling the entire trip because of his sister’s behavior, but she is still failing to see the issue.

Update: Well I’m off work now, so I can tell more of what went down. I guess you could say it’s over. My sister got our parents involved, they looked at my post, and were absolutely horrified by the continuous influx of commenters. Yes they’re very angry with me that I posted here. But I told them that if they’d just listened to me to begin with, I’d have never needed to.

I’m sick of the whole keep the peace mentality that sacrifices me to placate my sister. They in turn went off on my sister, and to make a long story short the whole vacation has been canceled. The hotel wasn’t booked yet anyway.

But my parents are arguing with my sister, my sister is blaming me, and my nephews are crying because they aren’t going to the beach.

My sister called me at lunch and basically implied I have no life, which is why I have time to help. I recorded that and told our parents, and that’s currently what they’re fighting about.

Now his parents have at least seen the light, but it does not sound as if there’s going to be peace in the family any time soon.

Smol Update: I wasn’t gonna update again. But here’s a little more. Parents said that they won’t ever push babysitting of my nephews on me again, and have agreed that what happened last year was unfair to me.

Right now they’re VERY angry with my sister for telling me I should help her because she thinks I have no life. My sister is playing the victim. And my brother in law is basically saying “Nope!” to the whole mess and spending most of his time at work.

Thank you to everyone who has commented. You made my day.

Did OP make a mountain out of a molehill? Reddit is here to reassure him!

The top comment says that it’s hilarious that OP recognizes that having triplet boys around is going to have to ruin someone’s vacation.

The next person pointed out that parents usually expect to entertain their own children on vacation (or pay someone to do it for them).

They say the least they could have done is offer to pay.

This person says we all have to lie in our own beds.

This comment says this whole post is a reminder that nothing is actually free.

This is laughable on the sister’s part.

I refuse to believe she cannot see how she’s foisting her troubles onto someone else who didn’t ask for them.