‘I decide to leave the birthday group chat.’ How One Woman Got Revenge For A Toxic, One-Sided Friendship
by Trisha Leigh
Everyone has probably realized they were in a one-sided friendship at some point in their lives.
You know the kind – when one person is always the one to initiate conversation and plans, with the second person going along but never all that into it?
Well, this woman wasn’t about to take this fairly common occurrence lying down.
She has a friend who was getting ready to have a birthday and had hinted (not so quietly) that she would like a very specific and expensive blender as a gift.
I won’t lie, it feels unbelievably s**t to have people messaging you whenever you need help and after you help them, they just dip and ignore you till the next time they need help again.
My friend recently asked me to buy her a special blender/food processor for their bday (it was ~150aud) because her old one broke (we’re both uni students but she lives on a way tighter budget then me because she doesn’t receive help from her parents).
OP, being a nice person who knows she has more cash than her friend, decided to buy it.
Of course they go all friendly, hyped me up and whatever beforehand, as if we’re besties. After 2 months of radio silence and as if nothing happened.
I, for whatever reason decided, hey since we’ve been friends for so long and I’m in a good mood now why not?. I go to target, take a photo of the food processor and send it to my friend who sends back.
“OMG YESSSS that’s the one! THANK YOU THANK YOUUUU” so I buy it.
It wasn’t until the train ride home that she began to realize her friend never seemed all that interested in her unless she wanted something…so she decided to try something.
She went home, admired the blender on her own counter, and shot her friend a message about hanging out after the party.
As I get on the bus I start reflecting. I’m scrolling through our message history together, massive blender around my arms, and I’m looking at the massive differences in the amount I type to her, versus how much effort she would put into her texts and contrasting that with the change in the amount she would type to me in the last few days. And I’d always be the one to initiate the conversation unless she needed something- it was as if she was just tolerating me.
I quickly send her a message “will we hang out again after your bday” (her last message was 2 min ago) to test and see if she actually cared about me as a person rather than some gullible ATM machine and as I’m waiting, I get off the bus and walk home.
When I placed the blender up onto my kitchen counter, I realised that the color of the blender actually fits my kitchen quite well. and I began contemplating purchasing another one for myself,
She received no response, but she was added to a group chat about the birthday celebration. When she decided to pull the plug and removed herself from that, the friend suddenly responded.
I check my messages again and see that I’ve been invited to the birthday group chat (friend is still online) yet hasn’t responded to me as if she just throws her phone across the pacific ocean after each message I send her.
I began to realise the pattern in which she messaged me and that this “friendship” was taking an incredibly large toll on my mental. Why should I always be worried about whether or not I get a response as if I’m not good enough.
I decide to leave the birthday group chat which was somehow noticed by my friend immediately since she messaged me asking why I did that (but not my previous message?XD) and I decided I no longer wanted to be friends with her.
Now she’s blocked her and she feels pretty good about it.
So I left her on read and went and made a banana ice cream milkshake (currently drinking while typing this up instead of studying rip), with the brand new blender she thought she was gonna get out of me
So 10 min ago, after I left my friend on read for hours, she sent me a new message saying
“wow ok I see how it is”
I quickly check our messages and see that she is drafting up a response so before she could finish whatever long as essay she was writing i respond with a picture of the new blender next to my glass of the banana smoothie (as you all were suggesting) with one word
and then promptly BLOCKED THE HECK OUT OF HER before she could say whatever colorful words she wanted to me. Thankfully we don’t have many mutuals together so she can’t go and bad mouth me, a complete stranger, to a bunch of people who probably won’t care.
Honestly I’d rather have someone straight up tell me they hate my guts, then string me along for years while pretending to be my friend when they need me.
It was a long overdue lesson but now I’ve found myself with a nice new blender to make smoothies with so it wasn’t all bad I suppose 😀
Is Reddit patting her on the back? Let’s find out!
The top comment says it’s high time OP saw her “friend” for what she really was.
They say taking charge of your friendship is an empowering moment.
This person says people pleasing is no way to go through life.
This comment says to look at your friendships like a tennis match.
This person says there’s no downside here.
Y’all, this is definitely a freeing moment.
Congrats to OP.