‘She refuses to speak to my husband, barely acknowledges us at family gatherings.’ Uncle Takes In Brother’s Family During Emergency, Except For His Niece Because Of Her Backwards Views
by Trisha Leigh
There comes a point in the life of every young person when they are forced to confront the truth that all actions have consequences.f
Sometimes, those consequences are more uncomfortable than others.
OP is a happily married *** man. Though his relationship and marriage is fairly recent but he has been out to his family since he was a teenager. They have all been accepting and loving toward him and his partner.
I (37M) have been married to my husband (41M) for 4 years.
I came out my family as ** when I was 16 and from the very beginning, they were nothing but supportive and to this day, almost my entire family accepts me as who I am.
Except, that is, for his niece. She was 14 when he introduced her to his partner and she has always made clear that she thinks they’re disgusting. She has thrown around slurs without regard for his/their feelings.
My niece (20F) is the only exception. She is my brother‘s (43M) daughter and despite her parents showing no prejudices against the LGBTQ+ community, she doesn’t make a secret of her ****phobia.
I don’t know where her believes stem from but the day I first introduced my husband/ then boyfriend to her family, she has been very hostile towards us (she was 14 at the time).
She refuses to speak to my husband, barely acknowledges us at family gatherings and despite her father constantly chastising her, frequently uses slurs to refer to members of the LGBTQ+ community and calls same-*** relationships disgusting.
Now, she (and her family) need a place to stay after a flood.
OP invited everyone except her (she’s an adult now) and she’s suffering at a friend’s house where she’s apparently not quite comfy.
Due to a severe flooding, my brother and his family have been forced to evacuate their house. My husband and I have a guest room and a sofa bed in our living room so when my brother asked we whether his family could stay at our place for a while, I told him that him, his wife and their younger children (15F, 12M) were very welcome to stay as long as they needed to, but that we weren’t comfortable letting his oldest daughter stay with us.
OP’s brother is on his side but his wife is whittling away.
He seemed to have been expecting that answer and told me that he understood my reasons. When he broke the news to his daughter, she was furious, asking where else she was going to stay and that she had nowhere else to go.
From what I know, my brother offered to help her pay for a cheap hotel, but see doesn’t want to dip into her savings because she doesn’t work and she’s been living with my brother rent free.
Apparently, she’s been staying with a friend for a few days now and she‘s been telling her mother how awful it is there. My brother is still supporting my decision, but his wife has started trying to convince me to let her eldest daughter move in.
She’s insinuating that family comes first and he’s being a jerk, but does Reddit agree?
She‘s been pushing me to get over her comments because my niece is still “young and naïve” and that she couldn’t have known her actions would have major consequences.
She‘s advising me to be the bigger person and not let my “hard feelings” for her daughter stop my from helping a family member, because that would be an “AH thing to do”.
Let’s find out!
The top comment says that OP was about as nice as they would have been.
This person says they wouldn’t care if she had to stay on the streets.
And this commenter worries about what she would do if they did invite her in.
They say they might even be worried about his safety.
This person wonders whether or not her mother might be allowing the talk.
I don’t blame OP one bit.
You don’t get to treat my family this way and still stay in our home. Nope.