Kid Moves Out When His Stepfather Insists He Get A Job And Pay Rent. – ‘It feels spiteful and like he’s punishing me.’
by Trisha Leigh
Parents realize there is a fine line between letting your kids worry about kid stuff and letting them grow up entitled and expecting everything to be handed to them.
OP is still in school but has recently turned 18. As soon as he did, his stepfather insisted he begin paying rent as long as he lived at home.
I had my 18th birthday 3 days ago. On the day after my birthday my step dad told me he wants me to start paying rent to “live in his house”. My step dad is quite Christian and conservative
I don’t expect to live rent free forever but I know my step dad is coming from a spiteful place.
He and my mum have 2 kids in 9 years of marriage, I’m not his own and it’s clear I’m a reminder that his wife was a non-virgin divorced woman before him so of course I’m being treated like a guest and my mum is allowing it because she thinks the sun shines out of his bum.
He doesn’t need my money to pay rent, plus I don’t have much and he wants £100 per month.
He does have half-siblings who are younger, but OP has his doubts as to whether the same deal will apply to them.
Aside from that, OP is studying hard for final exams that will determine his ability to pursue his dream of medical school, and fears taking a job in order to pay rent will interfere with that.
We still have lots of time for this but I bet his own kids won’t be paying rent while they’re in school.
My A level exams (uk school system) start mid April and last up to July. I’m doing STEM subjects and I’m hoping to fulfil my offer for a medicine course at a good university.
I’m aiming for A* A* A* A which will take a lot of studying, and if I have to get a job it will be difficult to maintain that level of studying that I need to do.
He wishes his mother would run interference on his behalf but realizes that’s not likely to happen.
I’m literally moving out in September. (Idk if the university finances differ in the USA and Ik this platform is predominantly American, so in the UK uni is funded by loans, and these loans cover everything and are 100% my responsibility and my parents won’t be financing anything).
So it honestly just feels vindictive, and it’s not like I’m unproductive. I’m trying to save the money I had left from my last job for when I move out too and paying my step dad £800 when he doesn’t need it feels spiteful and like he’s punishing me and making my life harder for being born.
OP’s aunt got wind of the whole situation and has offered him a room at her house for free while he finishes school and then makes his way to University.
Basically my aunt (mums sister) who isn’t fond of him said he’s being ridiculous and told me to come live with her. Her house is an hour away but my school is in the middle (30 mins each way if that makes sense).
She said she has a guest room free so I can save my money for uni. This benefits me most so I took her up on the offer.
His mother is sad he will be moving out so soon and his stepfather is still blustering on about OP not wanting to live rent-free.
My mother keeps crying that I’m leaving already, so my step dad is annoyed. We got into an argument where he said he’s just treating me like a tenant to prepare me for the real world, so I said “do tenants not have the right to leave?” Which annoyed him further.
My step dad says im hurting my mother and taking resources from my aunt because im “too entitled” to pay rent. This is just what’s best for me. I said I’d visit.
Should OP pay rent now that he’s 18, or is his stepfather being unnecessarily rigid? Reddit is on the case!
The top comment says this is a classic example of actions having consequences.
This person agrees that his parents are no parents at all.
No one is giving his mom a free pass, either.
Because his stepdad should feel guilty for how he’s treating OP.
Too many kids out there are dealing with the same feelings.
Y’all, I hate this for OP.
Everyone should know 18 is not a true adult, and if they’re your kids, why would you not still offer them love and support?