Growing, nourishing, and caring for a newborn is more work than you can honestly understand until you do it yourself. The last thing women should be worried about during those first several months is how they look.

Unfortunately, society can often make them feel otherwise.

OP’s best friend and her husband recently had a baby. They brought him for a visit, and OP had told them to bring their swimsuits so they could get in the hot tub for a bit.

My (22F) best friend Jenny (23F) just recently had a baby with her husband Tom (25M). My boyfriend and I got to meet their baby boy for the first time last weekend when they came over to our flat for dinner.

We have a hot tub on our balcony that my parents gave us for Christmas last year and I had told them to bring swimwear so we could go in after dinner.

When her friend came out in a bikini, OP thought she looked great – but the friend’s husband made some “jokes” about how she still had some work to do to get back to her previous weight.

My boyfriend wasn’t up for it, so he held the baby while us three got ready to get in the tub. Jenny was the last person to get changed and came out of the bathroom in a bikini.

I thought she looked amazing, really happy and glowing, but Tom kind of laughed and said something about her still having some weight to lose before she’d be as attractive as she was before her pregnancy.

OP immediately said that her friend had just had a baby, and what was his excuse?

I was a bit stunned by that comment and even though Jenny didn’t say anything, her smile disappeared and she looked obviously uncomfortable.

She and I had talked about her struggling with weight gain during her pregnancy and I thought Tom’s comment was more than insensitive.

I got angry, because I started wondering what he might be saying to her in private if he was comfortable dropping lines like that in front of other people, so I responded with: “She just had a baby. What’s your excuse?”

The dude has a hefty beer belly and a double chin but thinks he can joke about a new mom’s weight?

Her husband told her to keep her nose out of his business, and so OP is wondering whether or not she should take that advice in the future.

He got really defensive and told me that I need to learn how to take a joke before stomping off to the hot tub.

Jenny chuckled at my comment and I thought that was that, but when they left for the night, Tom pulled me aside and told me to keep my nose out of other people’s business.

I don’t think I was entirely in the wrong but my boyfriend told me I shouldn’t have reacted at all because it really wasn’t my business.

I think Tom’s reaction speaks for itself and it makes me wonder whether I might’ve been the AH in that situation.

I bet I know whose side Reddit is going to be on here…

The top comment says the guy got what he deserved.

Also, he’s the one who made it public in the first place.

They say the husband is waving some big ol’ red flags.

This person says not speaking up makes you complicit.

I would love to give this guy a swift kick to the crotch.

Seriously. What a jerk.